Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Plans


Whew! The last two weeks have been insanely busy! I am so glad that I have a few days off to recover. Our Christmas plans are pretty laid back this year. Usually, we are traveling all over the place but we decided to take it easy this year. Since we got married only about 3 months ago and all of our family was here then, we thought it was ok to stay home. Also, this will be the first year we will actually be together on Christmas! Every other year, we split up to go visit our parents (JJ's family is from Oklahoma and my parents are currently in Chicago). Part of me is really sad that I won't be with my parents on Christmas but another part of me is relieved we don't have to worry about delayed or cancelled flights!

Tomorrow (Christmas Eve) we are going to sleep in (yay!). JJ will probably head to the gym in the morning (which I will not be participating in) and then come back home. I am going to make our big Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve just for the two of us. I am making turkey, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole and stuffing. I will also make a pumpkin pie for dessert. While we eat, we will watch A Christmas Story. Every year my parents and I would watch that on Christmas Eve so I wanted to carry that tradition on. We will also open all of our presents on Christmas Eve. We will either go to the midnight mass or go to mass on Christmas morning.

On Christmas we are going to spend the day with my grandparents that live about 30 minutes from us. We are going to bring Piper and Lexy with us so with my grandparents 5 dogs and my uncle's 2 dogs, there will be more dogs than people at their house! That works out great though because they live on 12 acres of land and their house is a dog's paradise! My grandmother did not want to worry about cooking for everyone so we are all just bringing some snack foods. It should be pretty fun and laid back. After that we will head back home, have some leftovers (I am sure there will be TONS left!) and relax. Maybe we will watch some more Christmas movies and have some hot chocolate.

That is about all we have planned so I am not sure what we will be doing the rest of that weekend. JJ's mom gave us money to buy some bikes so we might go out and buy some this weekend. I am so grateful for a easy going and relaxing holiday weekend! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Loooong Vent

I need to vent. And since this is my blog, I can do that! Sometimes I really struggle with friendships. I tend to expect a lot from friends. I don't want to be the only person making an effort to call or make plans. If something exciting is happening in my life (like my wedding for example) I expect you to at least try to be happy for me. Maybe that isn't expecting a lot, but I seem to have a really hard time finding friends that don't eventually lose interest in me and stop making any effort to be my friend. The most recent example was my friend, Annie. (All names have been changed to protect the individuals.)

Annie is a coworker. She was hired to take my job after I got promoted to another position. We really hit it off right away. We became so close that people started calling us each others names. We would get teased about how we were always together. We shared everything with each other. After being friends for a little while, Annie told me her and her husband were going to start trying to have a baby. I was so excited for her! So she started trying and every month that she found out she was not pregnant was horrible. She would come to work crying and I would try to console her the best I could. I knew I couldn't completely relate because I had never gone through what she was going through, so I went out and bought a really cute book on trying to concieve. It was funny and light-hearted and I really hoped it would cheer her up.

About the same time, we found out another coworker, Leslie, was also trying to get pregnant. Every month I would cross my fingers that one or both of them would get what they wanted so badly. Finally, Leslie became pregnant. Of course, Annie was happy for her but at the same time she was sad that she had not become pregnant as well. I once again tried to console her and reassure her that her baby would come soon. Sure enough about a month later, she became pregnant too. In fact, their due dates were only 4 weeks apart.

Once they were both pregnant I started to feel left out a little. I was working on planning my wedding and wanted people to be excited with. Part of the fun of having something like a wedding coming up is sharing that excitement with friends and family. However, all Leslie and Annie really wanted to talk about was baby stuff. I really tried my best to be happy for them. I worked really hard to maintain my friendship with Annie (I was not as close to Leslie). I asked her to hang out on a couple different occasions but she always had an excuse about why she couldn't hang out (too tired, busy, etc.) so I backed off for a while. I thought maybe she just needed time with her husband and family to celebrate being pregnant.

Originally, I had asked both Leslie and Annie to be bridesmaids in my wedding. When Leslie became pregnant she backed out and I completely understood. She would have been about 8 months pregnant on my wedding day. When Annie became pregnant I told her she was free to back out as well and I would totally understand. She insisted that she wanted to be in it. I gave her 3 or 4 more chances to back out and she refused. So I figured she was excited to be my bridesmaid and let it go.

As the wedding drew closer and I got more excited I did my best to not spend all of my time talking about weddings. I knew that my friends would get tired of hearing about the plans so I barely spoke of it. When I did though, Annie seemed to be so disinterested. I was a little upset that I was spending so much time talking about baby stuff and was so excited for her, but she really didn't seem to be excited about my wedding. But I didn't want to start anything so I just let it go.

When Leslie was about 6 months pregnant the most horrible thing happened. She lost her baby. Annie was really upset for Leslie and was scared for her own baby. I was there for Annie (and Leslie) the whole time. I held Annie while she cried in the bathroom. I went to the baby's funeral with her. Annie told me how scared she was to go to the funeral because she was pregnant herself and felt guilty. She told me to not leave her side and I never did. We became close again. We both tried to be there for Leslie as much as we could. Annie expressed concern over the fact that she was worred that with her being pregnant Leslie would have an even harder time. She was worried that if her baby was healthy, Leslie would be sad for her own lost child. I consoled her and worked hard to make sure that Annie and Leslie remained friends and worked everything out so things would not be hard or awkward.

Things became better and then Annie found out she was having a girl! I was so happy for her! I went out and bought cupcakes for the entire department to celebrate. I went out and found the cutest little pink headbands and bought them for her. I was just so excited!

As my wedding drew closer I felt like anything I asked Annie to do for the wedding was a pain for her. I asked her to make sure she bought her dress before the cut off date. I had to remind her multiple times before she finally did it. She never told me when the dress came in. When I found out that it had come in and she had tried it on, I asked her how it looked and she said, "fine." That was it! The only other thing I asked her to do was pass out bubbles at the reception before JJ and I were to leave, and she said no. She said she didn't want to be obligated to stay until we left. Ok then!

On the day of the wedding, I arrived at the church to get ready. My sister, sister-in-law, cousin and mother all came in to help me get ready. Annie sat in the church alone, waiting for me to be done. My entire wedding day she barely said anything to me. She looked irritated and miserable the whole day. She tried to leave the reception before I even cut my cake (which was about an hour into the reception) but my mom begged her to stay. She didn't get me anything (a card would have been wonderful) for the wedding. My mom and dad even asked me after the wedding whether something was wrong with her. My mom said she talked to her throughout the ceremony to help her out (it was a Catholic ceremony and Anie is not Catholic). She said Annie never answered her or even acknowledged my mom was speaking to her. My dad said he kept trying to joke with her to get her to smile and look happy and she pretty much blew him off.

At that point I got pissed. How dare you treat my parents that way? Yes, I understand she was pregnant. I know she must have been tired. I knew she was uncomfortable about how big she was (because she told me over and over and over that she was going to look so fat). However, is it really that hard to suck it up for ONE DAY? Can you not pretend to be happy for me for one freaking day? Everyone was going out of their way to make her comfortable and tell her how great she looked and she couldn't muster up one ounce of effort for me.

Since the wedding day things have just gotten worse. I showed her my wedding pictures and all she said was how bad SHE looked. I posted them on facebook and she did not comment on any of them. Her and Leslie are now best friends and leave me out all the time. I see them leaving for lunch together all the time and I am never invited. I hear Annie go into Leslie's office and talk about their weekends and laugh and laugh and then goes back to her office without saying anything to me (my office is right next to Leslie's). I asked her before the wedding if everything was ok between us and she said I was being paranoid and that everything was fine. I asked her after the wedding if she felt ok on the wedding day and she said yes and that she had just been a little tired. The weekend I got my wisdom teeth out, she had a baby shower and I had to miss it. The day of the shower (the day after I got my wisdom teeth out) I texted her to tell her to have fun and I wished I could have been there. She never answered me and never even checked to see how my wisdom tooth surgery went.

I truly feel like I have done everything I can to save this friendship. I know that having your first baby changes your entire life. I know that she is excited. But I also feel like she just doesn't think our friendship is worth anything. Did she ever care about me? It doesn't feel like it. Now every day at work I feel left out and lonely. I don't have many other friends so that makes it even worse. I have decided to put myself out there are start making new friends. I can't keep wallowing in what Annie did to me. I can't start resenting her. I have to move past this. I am determined to grow from this and make new friends that truly care for me. And I feel that writing this all out will give me closer and help me move on. So those of you that actually stuck this through and read this entire long, boring post, thank you!

Edit: This was written a few weeks ago and since then I have really started to move on. I talk to Annie every now and then and we are still friends. Not close friends, but friends. She should be having her baby any day now and I hope everything goes well.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Extra Wedding Pictures

Our photographer took some of the best pictures and made them look vintage. I LOVED this look so I wanted to share some of those with you guys too!














That's about it for the wedding recaps! Thanks to all those that read them all and made such sweet comments! I love you guys!!!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Reception!

The last post ended with us finishing up the pictures after the ceremony. We stood outside the reception venue and waited as the photographer ran inside to tell the DJ that we were ready to be announced. I was so excited! The ceremony was over and now it was time to party! We heard our names being announced and our entrance song starting (Tonight by the Black Eyed Peas) so we opened the door and walked in!
I wasn't really sure what to do once we walked in. I knew if I tried to dance I would look like an idiot, so instead I went right to my dad and gave him a big hug.

We gave lots more hugs and then started to look around at the venue. My cake looked pretty good even if it wasn't exactly what I had asked for. I had wanted an ivory cake with little bursts of fall arrangements. I had told my florist that and he was supposed to drop off the flowers and then the woman making my cake would put the flowers on the cake. I guess my florist misunderstood what I had wanted because he dropped of roses instead of fall arrangements. I think the florist was also late so the cake lady just left and didn't put any flowers on at all. My mom walked in and saw a plain ivory cake and knew that it was not right so she got the reception venue to try to decorate it. It turned out ok and it tasted great!

Our favors were set up on a table up front and they looked awesome!
On the tables were some fall candles we had bought and our reception venue put them on top of little mirrors. They were surrounded by fall candle holders. I was pretty pleased with how the tables looked. Luckily, JJ had stopped by the reception venue earlier in the day because they had not put our centerpieces out! JJ told them they still needed to do that and they did. Phew! I would have been pretty upset if I had walked in and saw that none of the tables had the centerpieces I had bought!

The photographer was only able to stay for about 30 minutes during the reception (we could only afford to hire the photographer for 4 hours) so we took some fake pictures of us cutting the cake and leaving.


After the photographer left, JJ and I headed straight to the buffet stations. We were determined to eat! The food was pretty good and we got to sit and eat for a few minutes. My father then did his toast and it was beautiful. Our best man and maid of honor were supposed to give toasts but they both chicken out (which my dad made sure to bring up during his toast! Ha!).
Our first dance was to Then by Brad Paisley. JJ cried like 3 times during the song and it was so sweet. We had not taken any dance lessons so I am sure our dance wasn't the most entertaining to watch but I didn't care. We had so much to do since we planned everything on our own that dance lessons just weren't possible. I still thought our first dance was perfect.
Next, my dad and I did the father daughter dance to Hero by Mariah Carey. I spent that whole dance either cracking up (my dad was trying to make me laugh) or crying. My sister and cousin were up on a little balcony above the dance floor. At one point, I looked up at her and mouthed "I love you." She smiled and mouthed it back and it was one of my favorite moments of the evening.
There were not a lot of people that were dancing which was a little disappointing to me. I love to dance and was really hoping that some people would want to dance, but everyone seemed a little shy. I heard that after JJ and I left some people finally started dancing which was good. I just wish I had seen it!
Next up was the cake cutting. I had told JJ about a million times to please not throw cake in my face. So I took a tiny piece of cake and very gently fed it to him. He took a HUGE piece and shoved in into my mouth so I was left with frosting all over my mouth! In return, I threw a bunch of cake in his face. I thought it was hilarious and it looks so funny on the wedding video!
After the cake cutting we did the garter and bouquet tosses. A lot of people were leaving early so we decided to go ahead and leave because we didn't want to be the last people left at our own reception! When we got outside my car was covered with writing and balloons. We climbed in and headed off! I have seen tons of movies where the bride opens the window, hangs out and waves so I just had to do that! It was such a cool moment! We were married and headed home as husband and wife!
When we got home we immediately changed into comfy clothes and finished packing for the honeymoon. We asked our parents and siblings to come over our house after the reception was over and I am so glad we did that. We all hung out watching football and eating leftovers. It was so nice to just relax with family after such a busy day. Around 10:00, JJ's brother drove us to the airport. It was much harder to say goodbye to everyone than I had thought it would be! Overall, it really was the best day of my life!

The Ceremony

When the wedding coordinator told us it was time to go we listened and headed out! The coordinator worked with the church and she scared me a little. She was really strict and direct and there was no way I was going to get on her bad side! Unfortunately, in all the excitement of heading to the church, I didn't realize my mom wasn't completely ready, so we left without her. Luckily, where we were getting ready was right next to the actual church so my mom managed to make it over to the church before the ceremony started. My mom is a little upset that she wasn't in any of the pictures that were taken on our walk into the church, but that's ok.

Here is a picture of me and my dad walking in. He held on to me the whole way into the church!
Once we got into the church, all the girls lined up and I hid in the confessional (little room off to the side of the church).
I was sitting in the confessional alone for a little bit and then the photographer came in to take some pictures of me in the stairway leading up to the balcony.

After that, I sat alone for a little longer and the moment really started to sink in. I was about to get married! It still seemed so surreal! I remember worrying about whether I would get nervous before I walked in but I wasn't. I was completely at peace, even when I was just sitting alone and waiting. My dad came in to sit with me and we really didn't talk much. It was such a huge moment!
Then it was time! I grabbed my dad's arm and we started to walk down the aisle. I looked around and was so excited to see so many people that were there for us. I am so lucky to have so many people that love me! Everyone was smiling and I was so happy. Before the ceremony, my mom told me to just look at her if I got nervous but I never saw her. That was probably a good thing because my mom said she was bawling like a baby the whole time I walked down the aisle! I got to JJ and he smiled and took my hand. The ceremony started!

I was so happy and peaceful throughout the ceremony. My grandfather and JJ's aunt did the readings and they did a great job. I could tell my grandpa was a little nervous. At one point, when he was reading the names of the people that had died in our family, he choked up a little. His daughter (my aunt) was on that list. She died when she was only 22. I almost lost it when I saw him holding back the tears. I managed to hold it together. In fact, the only time I cried (just a little!) was when we were doing the vows. You could hear my voice shaking a little and I was really trying to not cry! Before I knew it we were kissing and we were husband and wife!

I had been a little worried that the ceremony would seem long because Catholics are known for long, boring weddings. However, our priest was amazing. He told a couple of jokes and made everyone very comfortable. Even the people that were not Catholic said they enjoyed the ceremony and it didn't seem long.


The next thing I knew, we were being announced! My cousin was the one that got to announce us (I think the priest wanted to make him feel special) and he did such a great job! He tried to make his voice as low and powerful as he could and announced us. Everyone cracked up. Then we walked back down the aisle as husband and wife! I couldn't stop smiling!


After we walked out, we went back into the room I waited in before the ceremony to wait until everyone had left. Once they did, we went back into the church for some more pictures. We also took some outside as we were walking to the reception venue (it was about a block from the church). I will post some of those pictures later.
Next post will be the reception!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Wedding Day!

On the wedding day, I woke up around 5:30. I didn't have to be up until 7 so I tried going back to sleep. After a few minutes I realized I was completely kidding myself. I was pretty nervous so I decided to get up and go for a run. I felt a TON better after the run. I got back home and took a shower and made sure everything was packed and ready to go. My mom, sister and cousin arrived at my house around 8:30 and we headed off to your hair and makeup appointments.

I got started with my hair first. I am not sure if it was because I was just sitting and let my mind wander but I started to get sick again. I got my hair washed and blow dried and my stylist started pinning it up. As she was doing that, she was talking to me and everyone was helping me get my mind off of the wedding and relax. I started to feel much better. After that, I wasn't nervous or sick the rest of the day and I was so greatful for that! Me and my mom had our hair done and then everyone got their makeup done. We were running a little behind so we headed straight to the church. We were supposed to start the pictures at noon and we arrived around 12:05 and still had to get ready.

The girls helped me get my shoes, garter, jewelry and dress on. Unfortunately, because we were late, we didn't get any pictures of us getting ready. As soon as we were ready, we headed into the church to start our pictures. JJ and I decided to see each other before the ceremony and I am really glad we did. We were both so much more relaxed and had so much fun!

We spent about an hour and a half getting most of the pictures done. Our photographer was so amazing and he made the entire process a blast! After we finished the pictures, we had about 20 minutes to head back to the dressing rooms while all the guests arrived. I managed to have a little snack and sit down for a few minutes. Then the wedding coordinator came in and said, "Last call for the bathroom!" My sister helped me go to the bathroom and it was a pretty funny experience. The lace from my dress kept getting stuck on the beading on her dress. We kept cracking up and it was such a fun sister bonding moment. Who would have thought we would have a bonding moment in a bathroom stall?

After we were all fixed up and ready again, it was time to head into the church for the ceremony. I will save the ceremony for the next post.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from before the ceremony (click to enlarge). I am not including any pictures of anyone besides me and JJ. I am sure some people wouldn't care but I don't feel right about it.
Flower's girl's basket

Me and my dad walking into the church






LOVE this picture!

So handsome!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Still Waiting...

Sorry for the delay in wedding posts! I am still waiting on my pictures and I want to include them. I should be hearing from the photographer soon!

I am lazy and don't feel like actually writing out a real post so I will just give a bulleted list of recent events.

  • Yesterday, I went to the post office and social security office. Surprisingly, the post office took way longer than the social security office. I have finally, officially changed my last name.
  • This weekend I am getting my wisdom teeth out. I am terrified.
  • Even though I am terrified to get my wisdom teeth out, I am really looking forward to having JJ take care of me all weekend.
  • Last night, I made Chicken Parmigiana and it was awesome. It took about an hour and a half to cook but it turned out great and JJ loved it. I am not that great at cooking so I was really proud of myself!
  • Our Halloween was pretty low key. We saw Paranormal Activity (great movie, very scary!) and went out for lunch. At night, we hung out and watched tv while passing out candy. We gave out our leftover candy from our favors and almost got rid of all of it!
  • I am still sad the wedding is over.
  • I can't wait to start scrapbooking all of our pictures!
  • I am really looking forward to the holidays. I can't believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner!
  • Work is boring. I have asked for more work to do numerous times but I never seem to have enough work! My days draaaag by so slowly and it sucks. I spend most of my day reading the million blogs I am following.
  • JJ and I have been discussing when we should start a family (ahhh!). We had initially wanted to start pretty soon after the wedding but we have changed our minds. We are going to wait a while for a few reasons. One is we want to have our freedom for a little longer. We love our lazy weekends and I am not ready to give that up. The second reason is we want to have our finances in order. I want to stay home for a while so we have to make sure we are ok to live off of one income. The last reason is I want to get my migraines under control. I have about 10-12 migraines a month and my migraine medicine cannot be taken if I am pregnant.

Well I guess that's it for now. Sorry for the lazy post. Wedding posts will be coming very soon.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner

I want to tell you guys all the details of the wedding and honeymoon. I want to share them all because everything was so amazing and special. I also thought it would be nice to look back at these entries when the details become fuzzy. I will break everything up so that (hopefully) you guys won't get too bored. I will also put up some pictures which will be the first ones of myself that I have ever posted! JJ also gave me permission to show pictures with him in them too.

The days leading up to the rehearsal were a little hectic. JJ's brother flew in on Wednesday so he could help us out. He was actually a huge help and I am so fretful for that. I only worked half a day Wednesday and spent the rest of that day running wedding errands. There were a ton of little things to do!

On Thursday, the rest of our families arrived. I had a spray tan appointment that went really well. Once our families arrived, they came over and our parents met for the first time. I was really excited for everyone to meet and overall, it was pretty great! JJ's family is a little more reserved which I knew my mom would have a hard time getting used to since she is the complete opposite of reserved. After everyone met we went out to dinner and had a blast!

On Friday (rehearsal day) the girls went to the Westin Spa to get our nails done. My mom, sister, sister-in-law and mother-in-law all went and got manicures and pedicures. It was so nice to spend time relaxing and visiting with family. Since both JJ and my parents live really far away, I really treasured every moment I spent with them. After we got our nails done we had to get ready for the rehearsal. Here is the dress I wore:



I wore it with black tights, black boots and really cute long necklace.
I was almost late making it to the church! The rehearsal went really well and we were done after about an hour. Since we were having a full Catholic mass I was really impressed with how fast the rehearsal went. At one point, the tornado sirens went off and our wedding planner (that we hired through the church) was literally RUNNING down the aisle. She was a little over dramatic. The planner was pretty strict and my dad and cousin kept laughing and making faces at me when she was basically lecturing everyone about what to do (and not do) the following day. I tried to stay really serious and focused but it was near impossible!


The place we were having our rehearsal dinner was about 2 minutes away so it was really convenient. Especially since it was storming pretty badly. Ok guys, the rehearsal dinner was absolutely magical. I'm not exaggerating. I am still hearing from my family how wonderful that dinner was. The venue was perfect for us. It was small and intimate and the decorations were gorgeous! (I think JJ's mom took some pictures so I will try to get them from her so I can post them.) The tables were covered with gold tablecloths and there were burgundy napkins. There were little candles all over the tables and the rest of the room. I never told the caterer how to decorate and she completely nailed it. It was perfect. Now on to the food. OMG the food!!! We had salad to start. The main course was chicken picatta on top of linguine that was mixed with spinach. I cannot even begin to describe how amazing it was. For dessert we had chocolate bread pudding. The service was great. Everyone was laughing and having a blast. While we ate, JJ's sister showed the slideshow she created for us with a ton of pictures from our childhood. I didn't want the night to end!


After the rehearsal dinner, my mom came over to help me pack for the wedding day. I was really nervous so I appreciated her help. Once I was packed, I went to bed so I could be extra rested for the next day!


Up next, the wedding day...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Best Day Ever

I am MARRIED!!!!! Today went amazing and I am the happiest woman in the world! I can't wait to tell you all the details. Now we are off to the beach! See you guys in a week!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow I am getting married. I cannot believe it. We had the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner tonight and it just felt so surreal. All these people are here for us!

The rehearsal dinner was amazing. It was better than anything I could have imagined. The people that catered it made it so special and I am so appreciative.

Well, I am off to go pack my bag for tomorrow. I will go through all the details after we get back from St. Martin. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Almost There!

Next week at this time I will be getting ready for the rehearsal. Is that not crazy!!??

We are almost done with all the last minute planning. I still need to finish the favors (I only have about 30 more to do), print the programs, book our nail appointment the day before the wedding, find some earrings to wear, find a necklace to wear with my rehearsal outfit and buy the candles for the centerpieces. That's it! After this weekend I will pretty much be done and I can just enjoy visiting with family.

It is amazing how many emotions are running through me. One minute I am tearful because I am so happy, the next minute I am stressed about little details, the next I am incredibly nervous and then the next I am overwhelmed with excitement. It still feels so surreal. I have had 9 months to plan for this and it always felt so far away. I had started to think it would never get here and now it is right around the corner.

The weather today is absolutely gorgeous and I hope it will be this nice for the wedding. The leaves are just barely changing and I'm really hoping there will be even more colors in a week. I can't wait to show you guys our pictures!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Airbrush Tan

I am so glad that I made it through this week! I had something to do (meetings with vendors, dry runs, etc) every day after work, I worked overtime and felt like crap Thursday and Friday. But I made it through! I met with the florist and that went really well. They are so well organized and they make it so easy. I also got a airbrush tan at the Westin Spa and I LOVE it. I really didn't want to tan in a tanning booth because I just can't get over the idea that I could get cancer. And laying outside isn't much healthier. So the airbrush tanning was definitely something I wanted to try.

I got there for my appointment at 7:00 (ok well it was actually 7:10). The Westin Spa is in this new outdoor shopping mall with some pretty upscale shops. I don't know what I was thinking (maybe I was just exhausted from a busy week) but I just threw on some cheerleading shorts and a t-shirt and headed to my appointment. It wasn't until I pulled up to the mall and saw how there was absolutely no parking that I realized my mistake. What the heck was I thinking? I went to a really upscale shopping mall on a Friday night in cheerleading shorts?? Yeah, I had a few people staring at me. Of course, there were about a million high schoolers all dressed up that shot me some dirtly looks. I just started cracking up. Which only made more people stare.

I got there and changed into this amazingly soft robe. I chatted with one of the ladies that worked there. She had just gotten engaged and wanted to know all the details about my wedding. She was so excited and it was so adorable. Another lady came and brought me into a little room and asked me if I wanted a disposable bikini. I said sure. I looked absolutely ridiculous in this little tiny paper bikini. So I stood there almost completely naked so this woman could start spraying me with the tanning spray. It took about 20 minutes or so and it wasn't bad at all. I put my robe back on and headed into the locker room. I just sat and had some cucumber water (which I HIGHLY recommend) and watched HGTV. I was so relaxed.

I love the tan guys! It looks so incredibly natural and I am always so much more confident when I have a nice tan. Tanning tends to hide the cellulite a little. :)

Anyway, I have exactly two weeks left until the wedding! I have two more meetings next week and then we have to finish the favors and programs and that's about it! I am almost there. Whooo hooooo!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Wedding Stuff

I am right in the middle of meeting with all my wedding vendors to make sure all the details are finalized. Last week I met with our reception vendor and had my makeup trial run. Yesterday I met with our photographer (LOVE him) and today we met with the people catering our rehearsal. I am really excited about the rehearsal dinner. We found this amazing venue that is a little coffee shop with couches and a fireplace. They even have board games! The people the own the coffee shop are catering it. We are having chicken picatta with linguine, a salad and for dessert we are having chocolate bread pudding. Yum!

Tomorrow I meet with the musicians for the ceremony and Thursday I meet with the florist. I am also having an airbrush tanning trial run of at the Weston Spa. Saturday I have my hair dry run. Next week I will only have to meet with the DJ on Monday and pick up my dress on Tuesday.

Other than finishing the favors and printing the programs we will pretty much be done! I can't wait for all the rushing around to be done and I can just look forward to the wedding (and the honeymoon of course!)


Here is a picture of our favor boxes.





They are filled with carmel hershey kisses and the leaf tag says "Joshua and Rebecca 10/10/2009." I have 20 that are completely done so that leaves me with about 80 more to do. We are estimating about 70 people coming to the wedding but we need to make extras just in case. I can't believe things are actually getting done and everything is coming together. In only 18 days I will be someone's wife. So weird.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Makeup and Contests

Three weeks from today I will be married. It still doesn't seem real! I had my makeup consultation today and that was a blast. The lady that is doing my makeup is so cool! She did airbrush makeup and my skin looks amazing. JJ loves it too. I was worried that he wouldn't like it but all night long he keeps looking at me and telling me how great I look. Awww!

Speaking of upcoming weddings, I have a couple of blog friends that recently got engaged. One of those awesome ladies is Lacey. You guys need to head over to her blog right NOW because she is having an pretty amazing giveaway. You also need to read about how her fiance proposed to her. It is the sweetest story ever!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Favors

I have been working on our favors for a few weeks now. We bought little boxes in orange, brown and gold. Unfortunately, they didn't come assembled so I have had to fold 150 boxes and 150 lids. Then, I had to fill them with candy. The last step I still had to do is put a ribbon around each box. I had measured how much ribbon I needed for each box and used that ribbon to measure all the rest so they were all the same length.

Last night, JJ decided he wanted to help. He volunteered to cut the rest of the ribbon. I was like "Great!" I can always use some help! I explained to him that all he has to do is use the ribbon I had already measured to cut all the rest of the pieces. He got started.

About 20 minutes later I hear "Uh oh." He was finished cutting all 100 yards of ribbon and realized that somehow he had started cutting them way to short. How is it that an engineer cannot cut ribbon so that they are all similar lengths?

He felt so horrible and I thought it was hilarious. He was so sweet to help so of course, I could never be upset with him.

Let's just hope the replacement ribbon I ordered gets here soon!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Lucky

I am lounging on the couch right now while JJ is watching football. I LOVE days like this. Lazy Sundays with crock pot chili cooking and football on tv. It is so comforting. I really need a comforting day today.

There is something really bothering me. Have you guys read about the Yale student that disappeared? She was only 24 and was supposed to be getting married today. There is video of her walking into a Yale lab and she just never came out. Her wallet, keys and personal items were found in her office so police did not think she ran away. Which means someone hurt her. I am not sure why this story is affecting me so much. The news is always filled with horrible stories and unfortunately, I am somewhat desensitized. However, this poor girl is really getting to me. I can't get it out of my head. Maybe it is because she was the same age as me and was just about to be married. I just can't imagine what her family and fiance are going through right now.

It has really put things into perspective for me. I have been so stressed about all the little wedding details. Why? Why am I wasting time and energy on something so small and insignificant? I should be counting my blessings all day, every day. I am getting married. I am ALIVE and healthy. I have an amazing family. Nothing else should matter. I don't care if the wedding details aren't exactly what I had in mind. I don't care that I still have a lot of work to do. I am so lucky to be marrying the most amazing man I have ever met. I am so so lucky.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Fall is Coming!

Guys. Today is September 1st. When the heck did that happen??? How is it that fall is already around the corner? I can already smell that fall smell in the air. I LOVE autumn. I love the little nip in the air. I love the smell of burning leaves. I love the gorgeous brown, red and orange leaves. And...

I'm getting married in FOUR and a half WEEKS. Holy crap! I have so much left to do. Some days I am really stressed and some days I am ok. I am, of course, so excited!!! I can't believe I will be a wife in a little over a month. I will have a husband! Ahhhhh!

Other than the wedding, the other thing we are really excited about is football starting. I never in a million years thought I would get excited over football season, but JJ has changed me. When we started dating, I hated football. However, I started watching games with JJ and actually learned about the game. I spent so many games asking JJ many, many questions. JJ actually loves it when I ask questions because he gets to teach me new things. I think it makes him feel manly. Anyway, JJ is thrilled that football starts this weekend because he actually has a new big screen plasma tv with HD. It is so adorable to see him get so excited. He doesn't show emotions that often so it is out of the ordinary and so cute.

We made our traditional fall meal yesterday. Turkey chili! We have the most amazing crock pot recipe and the smell makes me even more excited about fall and football. I cannot believe how fast this year is passing by! Soon it will be the holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years! And this holiday season will be my first as a wife. With a husband. And a different last name. WOW.

Oh and sorry for the lack of posts and comments lately. Wedding planning has now taken over my life. :)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Skunked

Last night, I was in such a great mood. JJ's family had a great time this weekend (and so did I) and I was looking forward to an evening with just the two of us. JJ had stayed home all day to clean up the house and go grocery shopping. The house looked great and there was no work left for me to do! We had dinner on the porch because his parents bought us this cute table to put outside. It was a gorgeous evening and we had sat outside eating and sipping some wine. We were having such a great time. We came inside and were just hanging out.

Around 8:30 Little P (her real name is Piper. I am tired of using a fake name) started asking to go outside. I opened the door to let her go out. Piper bolted out the door and I yelled for her. She has been chasing frogs around our yard lately and if she catches one, it will pee in her mouth and she will throw up. So I was yelling at her to stop. I flipped on the light and I saw it. I saw the black body with the white stripe. I saw the tail lift up and spray Piper right in the face. I smelled the HORRIBLE stench. I slammed the door shut and started freaking out. JJ came downstairs and let Piper inside. She was foaming at the mouth and started rolling on the ground to try to get the smell off of her. I was screaming and still freaking out (I do really well in stressful situations). JJ grabbed her and put her in the bathtub while I called the emergency vet. They said that skunk spray is harmless (except if it gets in her eyes which I don't think it did since they aren't red or runny) and to mix 1 quart of peroxide, 1 cup of baking soda and 2 tablespoons of Dawn dishwashing soap together and bathe her. We did that and she actually smells a lot better. By that point it was about 10:00 and I was exhausted. I am usually in bed by 10 because I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning.

The bathroom was a disaster. There was hair everywhere and baking soda was all over the place. Also, the ENTIRE house smelled so BAD. We cleaned up the bathroom, opened all the windows and sprayed Febreeze everywhere we could. I went to bed around 11:30 but JJ was up much later vacuuming and cleaning. This morning our downstairs smells much better but the rooms upstairs still stink.

We had noticed that something had been digging in our mulch but we never thought it was a skunk! We have a 6-foot privacy fence so it must be digging a hole and going underneath our fence to get in at night. What do we do? How do we get rid of it? I guess we can call someone to come trap it but I am afraid it is going to cost us a fortune.

This is actually the second time Piper has been sprayed by a skunk in the past year or so. When I lived with my grandparents she was sprayed in the face too. However, my grandparents live in the middle of the country, not in a neighborhood like me! Agh! I HATE SKUNKS!

At work today, I have had two coworkers tell me that I, along with my office, smell like a skunk. AWESOME. Maybe someday I will look back and laugh at this. Right now though, I am hoping no one comes into my office the rest of the day.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Grateful

Things over the past few weeks have definitely been rough. In addition to the last two posts, my laptop crashed, my dog got sick and I got food poisoning. However, I made it through all the crap and am trying to think positively! I decided to list these positive things so when I get down I can just read the list and instantly be in a better mood.

1. JJ is wonderful. He has been so supportive!
2. I am marrying my wonderful JJ in 2 and 1/2 months. Ahhh!!!
3. My family is doing very well. Everyone is healthy.
4. My mom and sister are coming to visit in a few weeks. I am so excited!
5. I love my wonderful dog, Little P. Seriously, she brightens my day whenever I see her wagging tail and adoring eyes.
6. I have a decent job and work with a few really close friends. In today's economy just being employed is something to be very grateful for.
7. I have some really supportive friends that have been there for me during the hard times.
8. I am financially stable. I'm definitely not rich, but I don't struggle like I did through college.

Yay, I feel better already. Plus it's Friday and I only have 30 more minutes of work left! JJ is already home because his entire family arrived today. Including JJ and I, there will be SEVEN people staying in our little house this weekend. It should be interesting. Tomorrow we are going to the Unclaimed Baggage Center and I am really excited. When the airline gets baggage that is not claimed, they sell everything to this store and you can buy stuff for really cheap. I've wanted to go for so long so I'm really excited about finally seeing it. Other than that we are probably just going to hang out, go out to eat, maybe see a movie, get the guys measured for their tuxes and have his sister try on her bridesmaid dress. We have spent the past week cleaning and getting ready for them to come so I am looking forward to a laid-back weekend!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Too Much Sadness


Another loved one has passed away. My mom had to put our family dog to sleep yesterday. She was 16 years old. She has been in our family since I was 8 years old. Sorry for all the depressing posts. In my dad's words, "I just don't know how much more sadness I can take."


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I'll Miss You Papa

My grandfather (my father's dad) passed away on Thursday. He was 73. He and my grandmother would have been married for 54 years this December. I am completely devastated. I wish there was something I could do for my father or grandmother to help ease the pain.

He had an aneurysm burst about 2 weeks ago. He was on a gambling boat and he felt something weird in his stomach. He told my grandmother that they needed to go home. He drove an hour back to their house and went to lie down. A short while later he called for my grandmother and when she came into his room he passed out. He had been bleeding into his stomach that whole time and he also had a heart attack. My grandmother called 911 and he was rushed to the hospital (that was about 30 minutes away). He spent two weeks in the ICU and he was making progress. The doctors decided to take him off the ventilator and he seemed to be doing really well. He was awake and even spoke a few words. Then all of a sudden his heart rate went crazy and they said they needed to put him back on the ventilator. When they put him under anesthesia his heart stopped. They were never able to wake him up again. My mom called me Thursday night to tell me and I was completely in shock. The last news I had gotten from my dad was that he was off the ventilator and it was a huge step. It never crossed my mind that he wouldn't make it through this.

JJ has been so supportive and I don't know how I would have made it through the funeral without him. I don't even think everything has hit me yet. Little things remind me of him and make me cry. Sometimes I start panicking because I remember that I will never be able to talk to him again. It hurts so badly.

I miss you so much Papa.

Monday, June 29, 2009

"Careful Where You Are Grabbing, Sweetie!"

I went white water rafting on Saturday. I am not a big fan of water sports because I have never been that great of a swimmer so I was pretty nervous to go on this trip. I am involved in the intern program at my company so I was the one chosen to lead the white water rafting trip. I thought it would be a good opportunity to face my fear. I was so terrified I would fall in the rapids but everyone assured me that very few people ever fall out unless they want to.

We met at work at 7:00am. Let me tell you how excited I was to be at work at 7:00am on a Saturday. I was not. at all. happy. We took a charter bus that was pretty nice. There were about 15 of us on the bus so it wasn't crowded at all. It was a 3 hour drive before we got to the rafting place. We arrived around 11:15 (we changed time zones) and had an hour until we had to meet our guide. We all had lunch and talked. Our interns are pretty cool and lunch was enjoyable. I was still really nervous so that means I was sick to my stomach (of course!) so I had to force myself to eat.

At 12:15 we met the rest of the group going with us and listened to the whole safety spiel. They told us that if we fell in the water to remember "nose and toes." Basically, you were supposed to keep your feet out of the water so that you couldn't get stuck in any of the rocks on the bottom. They also told us if we got stuck in the hydraulics to ball up until we were flung out. After the safety talks I was even more scared but it was too late to back out.

We all packed into a school bus to head to the river. It was so incredibly crowded that day. Our guide told us there were 500 people that were rafting the river on that one day. When we got to the river we picked our rafts and learned how to paddle and all the commands our guide would be giving us. JJ and I sat in the front (which was stupid) and practiced paddling. Then we got in the water.

The first rapid was called "the grumpies" because if you fell out it would suck and you would be grumpy. After going over the first rapid I started to relax. I was having a blast! We were all cheering and laughing. It was such a rush and all my fear had left me. After going over a few more rapids I looked up and realized our raft was heading toward another raft. I didn't even realize how hard we were going to hit them and once I did it was too late. We slammed into the raft and I toppled over the side into the freezing cold water. The water was moving a lot faster than it looked and I started to get swept away. A guy in another boat reached his paddle out to me and I managed to grab onto it. A guide jumped in the water and grabbed me. He told me it was ok and to put my feet down. I was trying so hard to gain my footing but I kept slipping because the water was going so fast. I grabbed onto him to try to pull myself up and I completely grabbed his balls. I mean, I just gripped down right on his berries. He yelled, "Careful where you are grabbing, sweetie! That will cost you extra!" Everyone around us (there were about 8 other rafts sitting there at the time) started laughing. I was humiliated. He told me to start walked to my raft and I was really struggling. A few of the interns were yelling at me to turn around so they could take pictures of me in the water. I was not amused. I finally made it to the raft and JJ pulled me back into the boat. I was shaking and completely embarrassed.

We continued on and I was still not that scared. I figured the only reason I fell out was because we hit that other boat and it wouldn't happen again. I relaxed and was really starting to enjoy myself again. A few minutes later as we were going over some rapids I fell out AGAIN. I don't even really remember what happened. One second I was in the boat and the next I was in the water. I somehow managed to grab onto the raft before I was swept away. The water was going so fast and I was so scared. JJ managed to grab me again and pull me back in. It was at that point that I stopped enjoying myself. I was banged up and my ankle was swollen because I had hit some rocks when I was in the water. I spent the rest of the trip tense and terrified to fall in again. No one else fell into the water and I did TWICE. It makes for a great story now because everyone finds it hilarious (and I do too now that it's all over) so that is pretty cool. I am really proud of myself for facing my fears but I have to say that white water rafting is not really my cup of tea.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Bike Riding Potty Mouth

Yesterday JJ and I went for a walk. It was a pretty nice evening even though it was pretty warm. It has been in the upper 90's the past couple of weeks. I don't mind it because I really love summer. Anyway, I wasn't feeling that great so I wasn't in the best of moods. I had been sick to my stomach all week and was really getting tired of it. I am still struggling with my health issues but things have gotten a lot better.

So we were walking around this cul-de-sac and we heard this kid screaming something. I didn't really pay attention since there are constantly kids running around and playing in our neighborhood. Around the same time this family was getting out of their van. The mother asked us if we knew the kid on the bike. We were both confused and said, "What kid?" The woman said that some kid on a bike had just ridden by and yelled some inappropriate things. She said that the boy yelled, "Hey you with the dog! You're and effing beach!" Except he didn't say "effing" and he didn't say "beach." I think you get what I mean. We were walking with Piper so he had to be referring to us. I couldn't believe it!

I'm not sure why but I just burst into tears. I don't know if it was because I was just called a b*$ch by someone I didn't know, because I didn't feel good all day, or because I felt embarrassed to be called a b*$ch in front of a family but I just started crying. JJ didn't understand why I was crying and tried to cheer me up by telling me that the kid didn't even know me so I shouldn't be upset. But I just was. When I was younger I couldn't imagine doing that to someone. Neither could JJ. I just wonder what kind of parents that kid had and what kind of person he will grow up to be.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Work and Wedding Stuff

I can't believe how long I have gone without posting! I am so ashamed of myself! Things have gotten really crazy lately. At work we are going through open enrollment. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's when everyone in the company can change, cancel or enroll in any of the benefit options. I administer benefits so this is my busiest time. We have open enrollment meetings where my boss speaks about all the changes we are going through and I have to be at every meeting. There was a day last week that I was at work from 6:45 to 5:00 with no breaks. I had SIX meetings that day. In between meetings I have tons of people calling and email me with benefit questions or questions on how to fill out the change forms. We are also changing dental and life insurance vendors so that takes a ton of work on my part too. In addition to benefit stuff I am training to interview. I am also in the intern program committee and the intern season has just kicked off. There are about 20 other things that I am doing in addition to all that. I am so worn out! Open enrollment is over in about a month so I just have to get through the next few weeks!

On the wedding front, my dress came in! I am going to go try it on this weekend so they can start on the alterations. We also meet with the lady doing our cake and picked out the tuxes. The bridesmaids dresses will be finalized this afternoon and we are meeting with the manager of the restaurant we are having our reception at next week. JJ has picked out the hotels our guests can stay at and our passports arrived! All in all, things are moving along really well!

Monday, May 18, 2009

JJ's Back!

JJ is back! Yay!

I had a pretty good weekend overall. I rented three movies that were pretty much centered around weddings. I figure I will only be engaged one time in my life so I am living and breathing wedding stuff right now. I rented It Had to Be You (the remake, Hollywood Video didn't have the original. It was pretty good), Muriel's Wedding (different but very good) and Bride Wars (it was pretty cute). I also watched a bunch of Bridezillas. That show cracks me up. I know a lot of those women are acting for the show but I'm sure some of them are really that horrible. I am so glad I am not like that.

I cleaned the entire house so that it would be nice for JJ when he got back and he thanked me a bunch of times. It was fun having some time alone but at night I would get so scared. I was fine during the day but when it was time to go to bed, I HATED sleeping alone. The first night Little P woke me up because she was howling. She hardly ever barks and has never howled. It scared me to death. Then when I tried to go back to sleep, I had like 4 nightmares in a row. I am so glad I have a big, strong man by my side tonight!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Chick Flicks and No JJ

JJ is going out of town today. He will be coming back on Monday. I will be driving home around lunch time to take him to the airport before I come back to work. I will definitely miss him, especially tonight and tomorrow. I really hate sleeping alone!

I'm actually excited about having the weekend to myself though. I am planning on renting lots of chick flicks and stopping by Barnes and Noble to buy a giant, girlie book. JJ is horrible at making little comments anytime I am watching something resembling a chick flick. He says they are very predictable. He will be like, "Oh! Let me guess! They are going to fall in love at the end of the movie!" And of course he is always right and it makes me want to throw something at him. So now that he won't be there to treat me with his witty comments, I want to spend the weekend on the couch watching movies, reading and eating all the stuff that we normally don't eat.

Don't get me wrong. I love our lifestyle and diet. We eat very healthy and workout together. Dinners are usually something like grilled Tilapia and fresh veggies. I love being with someone that shares my goals of being healthy. However, sometimes I want to splurge on pizza and Chick-fil-a. And that's what I am going to do! Whoo hoo!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Rainy Day and Updates

Today is going to be another rainy, yucky day! Every time I wake up on a weekday and it's raining I have to seriously fight the urge to call in sick and stay in bed. Today, JJ did just that. I was up a lot last night because we were having some really loud storms. Little P gets so scared and I feel so horrible for her. She pants and shakes and looks so sad. It totally breaks my heart. This morning JJ got in the shower and about halfway through declared that he was going to stay home today. He has been totally swamped at work lately and he really needs a mental health day. I just wish I was able to stay home with him!

Just to get you guys caught up on stuff that has been going on lately, two of my four bridesmaids are now pregnant. They are 4 weeks apart which means one will be 8 months pregnant on my wedding day and the other will be 7 months. The one that is a little further along decided to not be in the wedding anymore and I totally understand. My other bridesmaid said she still wanted to be in it. That surprised me so much! I wonder if she will change her mind once she starts showing and having morning sickness! I am so happy for both of them but it is a little weird for me. They are my two closest friends and I feel like the odd one out. They are always talking about babies and pregnancy and I don't have anything to say! They are getting so much closer and I feel like I am losing them a little. I'm not really sure what to do.

JJ and I went to a pre-marital seminar at a Catholic church near us this past Saturday. It was a long day (8-5) but we both got a lot out of it! We learned so much and all the topics related to our relationship. We listened to some lectures and then we filled out some worksheets and talked about them together. At the end we wrote each other a love letter and I take JJ's letter with me everywhere I go. It is so incredibly sweet! Anytime I need a little cheering up I pull out that letter and read it.

I have also started my photography class and I LOVE it. It is really challenging but I am learning so much. As soon as I take some pictures that I am happy with I will share them. Right now though, it is blatantly obvious that I am a beginner!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

This Morning

I started the day off a little weird today and I thought I would share. So I woke up at 5:30 which is the normal time I wake up (yeah it sucks). The moment I opened my eyes I felt the pain. I had a migraine. I get them all the time and waking up with one is not uncommon but this one was already full-blown. Usually when I wake up with one, it is still forming and I can take my medicine and get rid of it pretty quickly. But since it was already a full-blown migraine I wasn't so lucky today. I took the medicine and tried to relax and eat breakfast. Of course, I was really sick to my stomach so food was not appealing, but I ate anyway. I kept waiting and waiting for my medicine to kick in but it was taking a really long time. I called my boss and told her I would be a little late.

I sat in bed for a while hoping the medicine would kick in. I remembered that I could take a second pill if the migraine was not gone within 2 hours. It was about 20 minutes shy of 2 hours so I decided to go grab a pill and find some water so I could take it right at 2 hours. I looked everywhere and couldn't find my medicine. I had just gotten a refill two days earlier and I was so confused. I started thinking back to what I did with the bag from the pharmacy and realized I never took the medicine out before I threw the bag away. So at 7:00 in the morning I was digging through our trash can in the garage pulling nasty and unrecognizable things out. I finally found the medicine and washed my hands for about 10 minutes.

I got dressed and decided I didn't need to take the second pill because I was starting to feel better. I put on my new pair of pants and couldn't decide whether they were long enough for the heels I wanted to wear with them. I debated with myself for about 10 more minutes while JJ made noises and danced in the mirror in front of me. He said he was just trying to make me laugh. It worked.

I finally headed to work only about 45 minutes late. While drinking my coffee in the car I spilled it on my new shirt. I seriously almost turned the car around to go home and crawl back into bed. But I didn't. Even after all that and the fact that my migraine meds have made me feel really weird, I make it to work! Looking back on my morning, it actually seems pretty funny now. But I am glad it is over.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tax Day Tea Parties

So today is the big day! It's Tax Day and I will be downtown today from 12-1 with a giant sign and t-shirt protesting the fact that I do not agree with our current government. All my friends are going and we are all very excited. I just want to say a couple of things:

1. I am not racist. I am so tired of hearing this. Just because I do not agree with Obama that does not make me a racist. This argument is getting old guys. Come up with something new.

2. I am not protesting because I am a sore loser. I was unhappy with Bush's spending and I am unhappy with Obama spending billions more.

3.I am not protesting the fact that there is a Democrat in office. If a Republican were doing the same things Obama is doing, I would be protesting today as well.

I am protesting the fact that Obama just passed a stimulus plan and budget that will put our country in even more debt. I am protesting because I don't want my tax dollars going to someone who is not paying their mortgage when we were responsible when we bought our house and make our payments on time. I am protesting the fact that we are now bailing out businesses instead of letting the free market work like it has worked for us all this time (yes, I know Bush did this too and I was pissed when he did it too).

And to add fuel to my fire, according to Homeland Security, since I favor state or local government over federal (which is in the CONSTITUTION) and I oppose abortion, I am a "right-wing extremist." So those of us opposing Obama are now being labeled as extremists and law enforcement is being warned about us. Open your eyes to what is happening people. We have the RIGHT to have opposite opinions and we should be allowed to express them.

Ok that is all I have to say about that. I don't want to turn this blog into a political blog but I am seriously tired of being labeled as so many negative things just because I have an opposing view from someone else.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Shopping with Mom

I had so much fun with my mom. We went shopping and I bought 3 amazing shirts at Anthropologie and a sweater that was on sale at J.Crew. I absolutely LOVE Anthropologie. The first time I walked through I thought "this store is so not my style" but I was completely wrong. I usually have to try on quite a few shirts before I can find one that I like but once I do, I completely fall in love. They have really high quality clothes. Yes, they can be pretty expensive but I don't shop there for all my clothes. I try to find a few nice pieces each year and then build on to that with some lower cost clothes. Anyway I bought this shirt and so did my mom. It has the prettiest hand sewn flowers and fits so amazing! I also bought this one and it's really cute too. My favorite shirt however was this one in blue. It is really expensive but it was so worth it. It looks so pretty! It will be great for work but it would also look really but with a pair of skinny jeans and high heels.

I bought some shoes from DSW but I am going to return them. I kept second guessing the purchase and I realized that if I really liked the shoes I wouldn't be second guessing myself. I want to find a nice pair of heels that I can wear to work or with a pair of jeans. I want them to be a little different. You know, maybe snake print or some crazy colors. I think I have an image in my mind of what I want and I just can't seem to find them.

We also went to this store called Brighton. I had never been in there and my mom and I completely fell in love! My mom bought this purse:


Isn't it adorable? She kept worrying whether or not it was going to match her outfits and we kept telling her to not worry about it! No purse can match EVERY outfit so if she liked it, buy it! So she finally bought it and relaxed enough to be happy with the purchase. My mom bought me this necklace too:It's a little snail on a leaf. It's so cute! My mom bought my sister one that was similar except it was a ladybug on a leaf. My convinced her dad to buy her a really cute purse. If you guys have never been into a Brighton store, you should totally check it out. But you have to go into an actual store. Some department stores carry their bags but they just aren't as good as the actual Brighton store.

So it was a wonderful 5 days of shopping and eating out. My mom loved my dress! She took a picture with her cell phone because we forgot the camera. Other than seeing the dress, we really didn't do much wedding stuff. I have gotten so much done that there really wasn't much for her to do! I was so sad to see my mom go back to Chicago. I miss her so much!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Personality Tests

Have any of you guys ever taken a personality test? I don't mean the ones you can take online but a real one? I did last week. I have been in therapy for about a month now and I am really enjoying it. Some sessions are hard but I always leave feeling empowered and very hopeful. My therapist asked me to take a personality test and I was really excited to see the results. It took me about 45 minutes to complete it and then I got the results on Tuesday. Ok totally not what I was expecting! It was so hard to hear all the traits that I have that need improving. The test told me I am moody and can go from really happy one second to upset the next. I am also angry and resentful toward the people I am closest to. I am compulsive, borderline anxious and borderline depressed. Umm, great.

JJ and I also took a compatibility test with our church a couple of months ago. We got the results of that on Wednesday. Overall, everything looked really good. We were in high agreeance on financial aspects, religion ideals, extended family issues and future plans. We were a little low on problem solving and communication which wasn't a huge surprise for me. JJ and I went through the whole test and discussed our answers and I ended up crying. There were questions like "my partner is moody" and of course JJ said yes and I said no. There was also a question that said "my partner is unhappy very often" and JJ said yes and I said no. JJ also said yes to a question that said "some of my future spouse's behaviors frighten me" and that really upset me. He said it wasn't like he was afraid that I would hurt him or anything but he sometimes worry that we aren't compatible because I am so stressed and moody and he is so laid back and happy all the time. Awesome.

So I had a rough couple of days. It is really hard to hear things like that about yourself and not take it very personally. I knew I had things to work on but I have never felt so bad about who I am as a person. I hate that I hurt others around me with my moodiness and unhappiness. I hate that I am resentful and angry. I don't show it at work or around friends but I do show it to my mother and JJ. I am determined to work on these things but I think it will be hard. How do you change so much of who you are? JJ keeps telling me it will be easy but I have to disagree. I really think I can do it but it is going to take a lot of work and time.

On the brighter side my mom is coming to visit next week! I am so excited! I am going to take off early on Wednesday and then I will be off Thursday, Friday and Monday. Yay! We are planning on shopping and eating out. I also want to show her my dress. The one I ordered won't be in until May but I can still show her the sample they have in the store. I bet she will cry which of course will make me cry! It will be so nice to have a few days to relax and hang out with my mom.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Blonde Hair and Basketball

I'm blonde today. Well sort of. When I went to visit my parents over Christmas break I decided to get highlights. I thought I would rather go lighter than darker (my hair is naturally dark brown) just for the change. I have never been afraid to change my hair. I love growing it out and then getting it cut much shorter just for the drastic change. The lady that highlighted my hair added LOTS of highlights so it almost looked like I just lightened my hair a shade or two. It was pretty but I wanted highlights not all-over color.

On Saturday I went to get my "highlights" touched up and I mentioned to the lady that I hadn't expected it to have so many highlights the last time I got it done. She said that she could break it up and add some brown highlights back in and brighten up the blonde ones. Ok, so now my hair has some brown highlights and some REALLY REALLY blonde ones too. Everyone has told me they like it but I just didn't want my hair to be more blonde. Hopefully, the highlights will fade a little since I only got it done two days ago. I went to the bathroom a minute ago and the lights in there made my hair look like it was glowing. I was actually a little startled when I looked in the mirror. Ha!

Other than that not much is going on. Therapy is going great and JJ and I are doing really great! JJ decided that I should participate in the March Madness thing this year. I don't know anything about it (which is obvious since I just called it the March Madness "thing") because I don't follow basketball at all. JJ says that I will probably do really well because I don't know anything. Hmmm. So I just went through and randomly picked all the winners. I have no idea what I just picked but I really don't care. I think I said Duke will win. Whatever. I am just doing it to make the fiance happy! Sometimes I just have to make some sacrifices. :)

Friday, March 6, 2009

Hobbies

So I have been in therapy for a couple of weeks (I will save that for another post) and my therapist recommended I start finding hobbies that I love to do. All I do is work and then go home and that can get very old! So I have decided to start learning about photography! I am so excited! JJ and I are looking around at some SLR cameras and I have bought a couple of photography books. There is a LOT to learn and it is a lot more technical than I thought. Luckily, my company offers a Intro to Digital Photography course and I am definitely going to take that.

Also, my mom called me yesterday and told me she found an old high school friend on facebook that lives near me (I can't even explain how weird it is that my mom is on facebook). This friend of hers has 4 horses and has invited me to come hang out with her and her horses. Now this may not seem like a big deal to you but I am totally thrilled! I love horses. I love riding them. I love brushing them. I love just looking at them. I am so unbelievably psyched! Maybe I can get really awesome at photography and I will start posting some pictures on here! Maybe I can take some pictures of the horses too! Oh and today is Friday! Yay! Lots of good things happening!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dreaming Away

I have been having the most bizarre dreams ever lately. I mean they are CRAZY. I had one where I was trying to date a coworker. We went to lunch and I kept trying to hold his hand. Gross.

Then I had one where I had an affair with JJ's boss. WTF?? Things have been so amazing with JJ. The wedding plans are coming along great and we have been having so much fun together. Why am I dreaming about other men???

I had one where JJ and I had to take cover in a ditch because there were like 20 tornados coming after us. We almost got sucked up but made it through. I held on to this root in the ground and JJ held on to my legs. This huge tornado when right over us and JJ was almost sucked up. After it passed we climbed out of the ditch and all of a sudden all the tornados disappeared and it was sunny.

Last night I had a dream that I was going shopping with my dad because he wanted to buy me a table for a wedding gift (a table? huh?). I had to go to the bathroom and when I walked in, it was a square room with toilets but no walls! There were no stalls at all! You just had to use the bathroom right in front of everyone. I had a second dream last night that it was the morning of my wedding and JJ kept talking on the phone to one of his coworkers about his homework (he's getting his masters degree). I got mad because he wouldn't get off the phone and it was our wedding day. I was also really nervous in the dream. I had butterflies since I was getting married that day. I actually woke up this morning nervous!

Another one I had was really long (or at least it seemed really long) and was so real! It was the day of my wedding (I obviously have weddings on my mind!) and I was invited to this ring party. At this party you could try on any wedding ring you wanted and if you liked it better than the ring you had, you could trade. I just went for fun because I ADORE my engagement ring and would never trade it. While I was there I set my ring down on a table and starting trying on other rings. When I went to put my ring back on, someone had stolen it!!! I started crying and totally freaking out. I kept saying "he's not going to marry me now!" and everyone was trying to reassure me. After freaking out for a while, I called JJ to tell him to meet me somewhere so we could talk. When I told him about the ring he got so mad and starting yelling at me for all these weird things. He said, "I can't believe you lost your ring! AND you didn't shut the door when I told you to." I don't know where the shutting the door thing came from but he was pissed. He then told me he was calling off the wedding. The rest of the dream was basically me pacing around crying my eyes out. I woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, shaking and crying. It felt so incredibly real. It was awful.

I don't know why I am dreaming so much. Most of the time I just find them funny but sometimes they are awful. For some reason I pretty much always remember my dreams and get to share them the next day. I think JJ is starting to think I'm a little insane. Maybe I am. :)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Women suck

Women can be so petty! This is what happened. My department at work is made up of me, 7 other women and 1 guy. We all get along pretty well and go out to lunch as a department at least once a month. However, like any group, there are some of us that are closer than others. I wouldn't say we have "cliques" but we definately have some people that hang out with each other outside of work and others that they don't. That is totally normal right? You can't be best friends with your entire department.

Ok, the guy that works in my department (lets call him New Dad) is expecting a baby. His wife is due at the end of the month. His friend threw him a baby shower and New Dad invited me and two other women in our department. He did this for many reasons. 1) He knows us the best. 2) it was a couples shower and a couple of people working here do not have a significant other. 3) There was alcohol there and some people we work with do not drink and do not like to be around drinking. 4) He was also not comfortable with the fact that if he invited everyone, everyone would feel inclined to get him a gift. No big deal, right? Wrong.

One of the women (I'm calling her Big B) not invited found out and was really mad. She even said that if she had been invited she would not have gone, but she still was mad that she wasn't invited. She then said that she was going to talk to our boss about it. WHAT??? Who goes to their boss to "tattle" that they weren't invited to a party? We also decided it would be nice to throw New Dad a baby shower at work so the company could be involved as well. We all pitched in to help buy gifts, food, decorations, etc. The only thing Big B did was buy a card and a bow for the present and that was because she was going to be at the store anyway.

We had the baby shower for New Dad today and Big B claimed she was sick so she sat in her office and never came to the party. She couldn't even stop by. The entire department was there and she just sat in her office. What a baby!!! I know that she was not doing that because she didn't feel good. No, she was just pitching a fit about not being invited to his other baby shower. Then after all that, she demands that we all pay her back for the $6 she spent on the card and bow. I am so ready to go home today.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Prozac and Wedding Dresses

I give up. I seriously cannot take this medication anymore. I have never experienced taking a drug that made me this incredibly sick. I called my doctor yesterday and told him that after a week I am still sick everyday and he told me to stop taking it. Thank God! I can handle my usual day to day sickness better than I can handle this stupid medication (I'm sure Prozac is great for some people so no offense). So I did not take the pill this morning. I am really hoping I will start feeling better by tomorrow. I'm completely exhausted from feeling so bad.

In other news, I found a dress on Saturday! I had just started looking and wasn't planning on actually buying a dress yet. I went to this little store about 30 minutes from my house and the first dress I put on was the one. I just knew it. My grandma was there with me and I could tell by her face that she loved it too. I tried on about 10 more dresses just in case and then put the first one back on. It is absolutely perfect. It was WAAAAY over my budget but I just didn't care. I absolutely had to have it. Here is the only picture I could find:


I was not allowed to take a picture in the store so I had to find one online. The one I bought is actually ivory and I think it is much prettier than the white. It from the Pronovias line and it is called Delfin. I just cannot express how beautiful it is. When I put it on and walked to the front of the store to stand on the platform, everyone was watching me. I announced that it was the one and everyone cheered! Someone said, "It looks very vintage" and that is a perfect way to describe it. I wish my mom could have been there to share that moment with me but it just wasn't possible. She is living in Chicago and won't be able to fly down here until April. By that point, it would be cutting it really close to the wedding. The dress takes an average of 5 months to be made and shipped! So I really wanted to go ahead and buy it. I am so excited that I have a dress! I'm completely broke now, but it's totally worth it!!!!