Personality Tests

Have any of you guys ever taken a personality test? I don't mean the ones you can take online but a real one? I did last week. I have been in therapy for about a month now and I am really enjoying it. Some sessions are hard but I always leave feeling empowered and very hopeful. My therapist asked me to take a personality test and I was really excited to see the results. It took me about 45 minutes to complete it and then I got the results on Tuesday. Ok totally not what I was expecting! It was so hard to hear all the traits that I have that need improving. The test told me I am moody and can go from really happy one second to upset the next. I am also angry and resentful toward the people I am closest to. I am compulsive, borderline anxious and borderline depressed. Umm, great.

JJ and I also took a compatibility test with our church a couple of months ago. We got the results of that on Wednesday. Overall, everything looked really good. We were in high agreeance on financial aspects, religion ideals, extended family issues and future plans. We were a little low on problem solving and communication which wasn't a huge surprise for me. JJ and I went through the whole test and discussed our answers and I ended up crying. There were questions like "my partner is moody" and of course JJ said yes and I said no. There was also a question that said "my partner is unhappy very often" and JJ said yes and I said no. JJ also said yes to a question that said "some of my future spouse's behaviors frighten me" and that really upset me. He said it wasn't like he was afraid that I would hurt him or anything but he sometimes worry that we aren't compatible because I am so stressed and moody and he is so laid back and happy all the time. Awesome.

So I had a rough couple of days. It is really hard to hear things like that about yourself and not take it very personally. I knew I had things to work on but I have never felt so bad about who I am as a person. I hate that I hurt others around me with my moodiness and unhappiness. I hate that I am resentful and angry. I don't show it at work or around friends but I do show it to my mother and JJ. I am determined to work on these things but I think it will be hard. How do you change so much of who you are? JJ keeps telling me it will be easy but I have to disagree. I really think I can do it but it is going to take a lot of work and time.

On the brighter side my mom is coming to visit next week! I am so excited! I am going to take off early on Wednesday and then I will be off Thursday, Friday and Monday. Yay! We are planning on shopping and eating out. I also want to show her my dress. The one I ordered won't be in until May but I can still show her the sample they have in the store. I bet she will cry which of course will make me cry! It will be so nice to have a few days to relax and hang out with my mom.

Blonde Hair and Basketball

I'm blonde today. Well sort of. When I went to visit my parents over Christmas break I decided to get highlights. I thought I would rather go lighter than darker (my hair is naturally dark brown) just for the change. I have never been afraid to change my hair. I love growing it out and then getting it cut much shorter just for the drastic change. The lady that highlighted my hair added LOTS of highlights so it almost looked like I just lightened my hair a shade or two. It was pretty but I wanted highlights not all-over color.

On Saturday I went to get my "highlights" touched up and I mentioned to the lady that I hadn't expected it to have so many highlights the last time I got it done. She said that she could break it up and add some brown highlights back in and brighten up the blonde ones. Ok, so now my hair has some brown highlights and some REALLY REALLY blonde ones too. Everyone has told me they like it but I just didn't want my hair to be more blonde. Hopefully, the highlights will fade a little since I only got it done two days ago. I went to the bathroom a minute ago and the lights in there made my hair look like it was glowing. I was actually a little startled when I looked in the mirror. Ha!

Other than that not much is going on. Therapy is going great and JJ and I are doing really great! JJ decided that I should participate in the March Madness thing this year. I don't know anything about it (which is obvious since I just called it the March Madness "thing") because I don't follow basketball at all. JJ says that I will probably do really well because I don't know anything. Hmmm. So I just went through and randomly picked all the winners. I have no idea what I just picked but I really don't care. I think I said Duke will win. Whatever. I am just doing it to make the fiance happy! Sometimes I just have to make some sacrifices. :)

Hobbies

So I have been in therapy for a couple of weeks (I will save that for another post) and my therapist recommended I start finding hobbies that I love to do. All I do is work and then go home and that can get very old! So I have decided to start learning about photography! I am so excited! JJ and I are looking around at some SLR cameras and I have bought a couple of photography books. There is a LOT to learn and it is a lot more technical than I thought. Luckily, my company offers a Intro to Digital Photography course and I am definitely going to take that.

Also, my mom called me yesterday and told me she found an old high school friend on facebook that lives near me (I can't even explain how weird it is that my mom is on facebook). This friend of hers has 4 horses and has invited me to come hang out with her and her horses. Now this may not seem like a big deal to you but I am totally thrilled! I love horses. I love riding them. I love brushing them. I love just looking at them. I am so unbelievably psyched! Maybe I can get really awesome at photography and I will start posting some pictures on here! Maybe I can take some pictures of the horses too! Oh and today is Friday! Yay! Lots of good things happening!