Monday, March 31, 2008

Weird Ass Wedding

I went to a wedding this weekend and there is only one word that can describe it (well in addition to "weird" which I already used): BIZARRE.

This shouldn't really have surprised me since I went to my uncle's ex-wive's wedding to her new husband. It was in this "members only" resteraunt that her new husband owns. It was supposed to be a casual wedding but it seemed more like a really fancy wedding trying to impersonate a casual, fun wedding. People were drinking during the reception which I found to be truly odd and there was this one couple that kept busting out laughing through the entire ceremony. I was seriously getting close to grabbing their beer bottles and smashing them over the head with them. It's wedding people, not Nascar!

Then we all headed upstairs to eat. It was supposed to be this buffet that was spread out through 4 little rooms. Well only one room had food so everyone proceeded to cram themselves into this one little room. There was also no where to sit. It was only when we heard music coming from downstairs did we realize that there were a bunch of tables and more food on the lower level (unfortuantely it was not until we were done akwardly eating while standing that we discovered this).

One humourous moment was when me and my wonderful boyfriend went over to the chocolate fondue fountain (oh HELL YEAH!!!). I immediately starting dipping some strawberries in and shoving them into my mouth. I was in such a hurry that I let one slip off of the wooden stick and it splashed chocolate all over my neck. You should have seen my boyfriend's face when I said "Honey, is there chocolate on my neck?" Especially when he looked and there was, in fact, chocolate all over my neck.

We went downstairs and could not help oogling at all the women with fake boobs. Most of these women were fake-tanned (trust me I could tell) and dressed in very expensive clothes (trust me I could tell). They also had had a ton of work done, besides the boobs (once again I can tell these things). Apparently some of the "members" had shown up to suck up to the owner that was getting married. The owner was a Latino retired boxer so his family consisted of overweight women in very drab dresses. Needless to say, it was a very "interesting" mix of guests.

We then found some little cakes and proceeded to dig into those as well. The bride came around the corner and holy crap, can you say bridezilla!? She says, "Those cakes were supposed to be RED not BROWN! They look like TURDS!" Then she said, "My bustle is coming undone. Someone get my sister NOW!" I turned to my boyfriend with fear in my eyes. Just eat and avoid eye contact with her! Isn't marriage supposed to be fun and exciting? Apprantely not.

We did not dance even though I was determined to get one slow dance with my boyfriend. We didn't know anyone there and by 9:00 we were so uncomfortable we just had to get out of there. Luckily, my boyfriend is unbelievably romantic. He took me to his room and put on some music. He took my hand and gave me that slow dance I wanted so badly.

All together now.... AWWWW!

Friday, March 28, 2008


You know what pisses me off? When my boyfriend or mom (or anyone for that matter) tells me to "think positively." That statement right there makes me think even more negatively and also makes me want to punch you in your optimistic smiling mouth. So shut the hell up. I will think negatively if I want to (and yeah I am aware that this post makes me sound like a 10-year-old. So what?).

Slooowww Moootttiiiooonnn

I feel like today is dragging by in slow motion. I am so glad its a Friday but I really don't feel like doing anything productive whatsoever. Luckily, I have already gotten through with the things I "must" do today and now just have a bunch of time filler crappola sitting on my desk.

Apparently, my company thinks that I should be honored when everyone passes the crap they don't want to do anymore down to me. Then I get "trained" on something really fun and exciting! Yeah, right. I just love being the new (AKA low person on the total pole) person.

I am now sitting here staring at the pile of folders I need to go through and print off "no-thank you" letters to. Basically everyone we do not want to work for us gets a really great generic letter on our wonderful letterhead. It says that typical "we just do not have anything that matches your qualifications right now" BS. I mean, who does that really fool? We could just go ahead and say "We just think you are a crappy person and you deserve to be unemployed" because that is all that poor person will hear anyways.

I feel sorry for some people because I truly think they just have no clue what they are doing wrong. However, some people are just so stupid that I don't think they should be working anywhere where any level of intelligence is required. We once had someone fail a drug test because he tested positive for cocaine. His WIFE then called us to let us know that the guy was on eye drops and that was the reason he failed. Geeze, if there is such a thing as cocaine eye-drops, sign me up (not really, drugs are very bad for you)!

Anyway, today kinda sucks because I HAVE to workout today and I have just been so lazy lately. Working out is the last thing in the world I want to do on a Friday night. However, my sexy boyfriend will be there lifting weights and there is no better reward than that. Everytime I walk into the gym when he is there I am completely horny the entire time I am in there. Yeah, the entire time.


Just to let you in on the picture on my blog page, I went to Hawaii for vacation one year and I will forever believe that I was a Hawaiian in my previous life. I totally have the aloha and hang loose spirit! I WILL live there someday. I just will.

Intro post

Ok so here goes.... my first posting!

I have now entered the world of blogging! I have spent so much time reading other people's blogs (while I should be actually working) and I decided to take the plunge and write my own! I figured I would be writing lots of crap about my coworkers/boyfriend/friend/family so I will not be revealing any personal details about myself and I will not use real names.

Welcome to my world!