Wednesday, December 31, 2008


I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas! I just stopped by quickly to announce some big news...


JJ proposed on my birthday (which was Sunday) and it was a huge surprise. I had been hoping that he would propose while I was visiting my parents but I didn't think it would happen. I think I am still in shock a little because the fact that I am engaged hasn't really hit me yet. We have talked a little of a date but haven't made any decisions yet.

Tonight my mom is making a nice dinner and we are going to spend New Year's Eve at home with the family. I have never really been a huge fan of New Year's Eve so this is a perfect night in my opinion. I hope you all have a very safe and happy New Year's!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas Eve Eve

So I have one more day of work before I get to go home to visit my family. My flight leaves at 9:20 AM from an airport that is 2 hours away. That means I will have to wake up at 3:30 in the morning to be able to get ready and get to the airport. AWESOME. Why do I keep doing that to myself?? At least I will be at my parents house at around noon.

We actually open all of our presents on Christmas Eve. We buy tons of meats like turkey, ham, salami, etc along with tons of cheeses. Then we get tomatoes and onions. We make the most AMAZING cold cut sandwiches ever. They are seriously awesome. While we eat our delicious sandwiches we watch A Christmas Story. After we are done eating, we start the fire and open all of our presents. We usually stay up really late playing with our presents and just being together. On Christmas day we eat the nice, large meal and go to church. I have no idea how this tradition started but I love it.

I got a lot of stuff done at work today so tomorrow is probably going to be pretty slow. Everyone in my department is getting so antsy and it is so funny. Every five minutes someone comes to my office to just sit and chat. I guess things don't really change that much from grade school. Oh and our CEO decided to let us all go at 3:00 tomorrow and charge for the whole day!!! He does that most of the time on the day before a holiday. We got out at 3:00 the day before Thanksgiving too. I seriously forget how amazing the company I work for is.

If I don't get a chance to blog again before Thursday, I hope everyone has a very happy holidays!!!!

Monday, December 15, 2008


My doctor said that even though my blood test results were in the "normal" range, something still isn't quite right. I took a glucose tolerance blood test a couple of weeks ago. Basically you fast for 12 hours, give blood, then drink this orange soda-like drink and fast another two hours. After that you give blood again. Most people will have a spike in their blood sugar after the orange drink. Mine didn't really spike. It went up but just a little. The doctor said I need to stay away from sugar (boooo, especially since Christmas and my birthday are next week!!!) and start eating a lot of protein. I am supposed to eat every 3 hours and it has been really tough. I used to be one of those people that lived to eat. I would look forward to meals. Just thinking about dinner would make me excited. Now I have to force myself to eat. I get nauseous a lot so my appetite is now non-existant. I have actually lost about 10 pounds (which I definately don't need to do. I look horrible.). I am supposed to keep a journal of all my symptoms and go back to see him in a month. So not much news there.

JJ leaves Wednesday to go to Oklahoma. I will be alone for a week and I'm not too excited. Luckily, the last time I went home with JJ he taught me to shoot so now I can actually use the gun we have for protection. We have a safe neighborhood, but I still get nervous. I am flying home on December 24 and then JJ will come up to Chicago on December 28 (my 24th birthday!). I am so looking forward to seeing my parents and sister. I haven't seen my sister since July and I miss her so much! My parents also have 3 dogs and I haven't seen them for a year. Our oldest dog is like 15 and has lots of health issues so this will probably be the last time I will see her. I practically grew up with this dog so it breaks my heart. I hate losing pets. It is the hardest thing!

I am pretty much done with my Christmas shopping. My parents are getting my sister an Iphone for Christmas so I bought her a $50 gift card so she can buy games and music for the Iphone. I got my dad a padfolio (that is what he wanted) and a really nice pen. I got my mom a gift certificate to Anthropologie, which is her favorite store. I would shop there more often if they weren't so dang expensive. One shirt costs like $80!

JJ and I are going to split a trip to Nashville in January for our Christmas present for each other. We are going to stay in a Bed and Breakfast and hang out in the city. I have never been to Nashville so I am really excited!

I just can't wait for the Christmas break!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Southern Snow

I'm going to the doctor today to discuss what else could be wrong with me. I have a wierd mixture of hope and hopelessness. Deep down, I am so hopeful that there will be some other explanations but at the same time, I am terrified to get my hopes up again, in fear of being let down again.

JJ and I are going to one of the those drive through Christmas light displays tonight. I am so excited! I love looking at Christmas lights. I think we are going to let Little P come with us because she loves "bye-byes." We actually have a small chance of snow tonight so that will be so pretty!

It's so funny to see everyone panic here in Alabama at just the mention of snow. Everyone will rush to the grocery store to stock up on milk and bread. Seriously, who thinks that milk and bread are the best things to buy in an emergency situation? They are both things that don't exactly last very long. Why not stock up on water or canned foods? Or maybe just not freak out because does anyone really think they are going to get snowed in here in Alabama??? And if it does snow, everything will close. When I lived in Chicago, you could get 6 feet of snow and no one would even hesitate. Here, if we get a light dusting, everyone freaks out!! And don't even get me started on the how people drive in the snow...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I got my results today...everything looked normal. I understand that technically this is a good thing. However, I had such hope that I would figure out what was wrong with me so I could move on to managing everything. I now have to go back to the doctor on Thursday to see if he has any other ideas about what could be wrong with me. I feel so hopeless right now. What if they never figure out what is wrong with me? What if I have to spend the rest of my life being dizzy, nauseous and having diahrrea off and on? What about having headaches almost everyday? Or the increasing amount of migraines I am getting? What about the weight I am losing because I never want to eat? Or how my work is suffering because I can't concentrate?

Do I have to deal with this on Christmas and my birthday? Am I going to have to worry about this when I get married? When I have kids? I just don't know what to do.

I have become so depressed. I never go out anymore. After work I go home, shower and lay on the couch all night long. It is affecting my friendships, my job, my relationship with JJ...everything.

I know that I just need some time to vent and let out my frustrations and fear. Soon, I will gather my strength again and keep going. I will get through this. I will get through this. I can do this. I can.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Almost Dying...

As I am writing this, I feel like I could be dying. Ok that may be a tiny exaggeration but not by much. I have been having several wierd health issues lately (migraines, headaches every day, nausea, diahrrea (sorry), shakiness, dizziness and this weird fuzzy/out-of-it feeling all the time). I went to a couple of different doctors and they all said it was stress. I was starting to get really upset by that. I mean, I know I am not the calmest person in the world but I just don't feel like my life is all that stressful right now. At least not stressful enough to make me feel sick almost everyday. Besides my health, everything is really great! I was really starting to lose hope and was really having a hard time. I LOVE the holidays (especially since my birthday is right after Christmas!!) and I just felt like my health was making everything impossible to enjoy.

I went to a different doctor yesterday and finally someone listened to me! He says that there is no way that this is just stress and something is definately wrong. He decided that I need to get a blood test. He is worried about how I am processing sugar and he is also concerned about my thyroid. Theblood test requires me to fast for 12 hours. Ok fine. So I ate my last meal at 9:00 last night and didn't have anything to eat this morning. I headed to the test around 10:30 and I was so looking forward to getting it done so I could get a huge helping of pasta after I was done. When I got back in the little room, the lady told me that after she drew my blood I would have to drink this stuff and then wait 2 more hours to get retested before I could eat. NOOOOO!!!

I have been hungry before. I have gone a while without a meal before. But I have NEVER felt as horrible as I do today. I am shaking, sweating, dizzy, unbelievably tired and weak. I had to ask JJ to drive me to the second blood test because I am pretty sure I would drive off the road if I drove. I feel HORRIBLE. I really hope we can figure out what is wrong with me so I can get back to enjoying life.

45 minutes to go before I leave for my second blood test!