Have any of you guys ever taken a personality test? I don't mean the ones you can take online but a real one? I did last week. I have been in therapy for about a month now and I am really enjoying it. Some sessions are hard but I always leave feeling empowered and very hopeful. My therapist asked me to take a personality test and I was really excited to see the results. It took me about 45 minutes to complete it and then I got the results on Tuesday. Ok totally not what I was expecting! It was so hard to hear all the traits that I have that need improving. The test told me I am moody and can go from really happy one second to upset the next. I am also angry and resentful toward the people I am closest to. I am compulsive, borderline anxious and borderline depressed. Umm, great.
JJ and I also took a compatibility test with our church a couple of months ago. We got the results of that on Wednesday. Overall, everything looked really good. We were in high agreeance on financial aspects, religion ideals, extended family issues and future plans. We were a little low on problem solving and communication which wasn't a huge surprise for me. JJ and I went through the whole test and discussed our answers and I ended up crying. There were questions like "my partner is moody" and of course JJ said yes and I said no. There was also a question that said "my partner is unhappy very often" and JJ said yes and I said no. JJ also said yes to a question that said "some of my future spouse's behaviors frighten me" and that really upset me. He said it wasn't like he was afraid that I would hurt him or anything but he sometimes worry that we aren't compatible because I am so stressed and moody and he is so laid back and happy all the time. Awesome.
So I had a rough couple of days. It is really hard to hear things like that about yourself and not take it very personally. I knew I had things to work on but I have never felt so bad about who I am as a person. I hate that I hurt others around me with my moodiness and unhappiness. I hate that I am resentful and angry. I don't show it at work or around friends but I do show it to my mother and JJ. I am determined to work on these things but I think it will be hard. How do you change so much of who you are? JJ keeps telling me it will be easy but I have to disagree. I really think I can do it but it is going to take a lot of work and time.
On the brighter side my mom is coming to visit next week! I am so excited! I am going to take off early on Wednesday and then I will be off Thursday, Friday and Monday. Yay! We are planning on shopping and eating out. I also want to show her my dress. The one I ordered won't be in until May but I can still show her the sample they have in the store. I bet she will cry which of course will make me cry! It will be so nice to have a few days to relax and hang out with my mom.