Friday, April 2, 2010

Acceptance

On April 4, 2003, I made a huge decision that would change my life forever. In honor of that decision seven years ago, I thought I would share it with you guys. It’s not something I talk about very often but it’s something that played a huge role in becoming the person I am today.

Growing up, I moved a lot. I was in 3 different second grades. The longest we stayed in one place was about three years. No, my father was not in the military. He did however, have a job that moved him around a lot. I hated the moving. I was really shy and having to leave my friends and start all over felt like torture to me at the time. Looking back, I am ashamed at how horrible I treated my parents during each move. I was so angry with them when they were just doing what they needed to do to best provide for us.

Another reason I hated the moving was because I was teased constantly. I had a really big nose. Really big. I had a large lump on the bridge of my nose. I hated it so much that when I saw a cute guy, I would do everything I could to not turn sideways so that he wouldn’t see how enormous my nose was. When someone was describing me, they said I was “the tall girl with the big nose.” Trust me, I overheard this numerous times. You know the feeling you get when you walk by a group of people and know they were just talking about you? I got that feeling almost every day. My senior year, I had a guy leave me a voicemail on my phone that was about 10 minutes long. The entire message consisted of him calling me awful names and telling me how ugly I was. I hardly even knew the guy. I had done nothing to him.

Shortly after that message I decided I couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe some people would have been strong enough to accept themselves and not let it bother them, but I wasn’t that strong. I decided to get a nose job. During spring break of my senior year, I did it. It was really rough and I was humiliated when I was told I had to wear tape on my nose to school for a couple of weeks, but I did it. I don’t have a tiny button nose. I still have my nose but it is a little improved.

Now, I don’t cry anymore when I look in the mirror. Sure there are things about me I would still change, and I have some off days, but I really do accept myself. I love my body. I love my face. I might have been able to get to this point without the surgery, but who knows? All I know is that I made the right decision for me and I am not ashamed of it.

Happy seven year anniversary, you beautiful nose!

5 comments:

That Kind of Girl said...

Good for you! That's wonderful that you did what you felt you needed to and are happy with the results! And, dude, judging by your blogger profile picture? Your nose is lovely! Happy anniversary to the both of you.

jaysey818 said...

Hey, if it makes you feel better about you, it's worth it! Happy anniversary!

Gooseberried said...

Good for you, girl! I bet you were gorgeous without the n. job, but I totally think you're gorgeous now too! Whatever makes you happy! You could be a model. :)

Mrs T said...

I'm glad you did it for you and it made you feel better. I think you are super pretty!

P said...

I think if it made you feel better about yourself, it's only a good thing! And it's a very nice nose!