I have been meaning to share this story with you guys for so long! The weekend before Thanksgiving, JJ and I took our dog, Piper, for a walk. It was a chilly evening so we were wrapped up in sweatshirts and coats. We started walking down our street and got about 5 houses away when this little brown dog came running out from the side of a house. She was really excited and wanted to come up to us but was too scared to get really close. I knelt down and talked to her. She built up enough courage to come see me and I checked to see if she had any tags. She had a collar on (that was waaaay too tight) but had no tags. Immediately I was irritated. I cannot stand dog owners who are irresponsible. It is not that difficult to make sure your dog has tags!
Anyway, so we stood there for a while not sure what to do. She was running around like crazy and I was terrified she was going to get hit by a car. JJ and I decided to walk up and down the street and ask some of the neighbors if they knew who she belonged to. Most of them had no idea. One of them said they had seen her running around all day but didn't know who she belonged to. (OK am I the only one who worries about a dog running around? I don't think I could see a little dog running around and just not do anything about it!) We talked to this really sweet, retired couple that lives right by us and they said they had seen her another time too and knew that she lived near by. We kept ringing door bells and no one knew who the owner was! I was so frustrated.
We decided to take her back to our house and put her in the garage. I didn't want to bring her in our house because she was covered in poop (she had apparently found some poop and decided it would be fun to roll in it) and I didn't know if she had anything that Piper could catch and get sick. I didn't want to leave her in the garage though because it was so cold and I didn't want the owners to come home and not know where she was. We decided to call animal control.
JJ called around 6:15 and told them what was going on. They were really rude to JJ and told him that since they were closing at 7:00 they would not come pick her up even though we only lived about 20 minutes from them (REALLY? Isn't that your JOB?). If we wanted to bring her over to them we could do that. We talked about it and kept going back and forth. What should we do??? We decided to go ahead and take her. By this time it was about 6:40 so we had to haul some major butt to get there on time. We arrived at 7:05 and ran up to the door. Locked. We drove to the side and rang a bell. A man answered and JJ explained what had happened. The man refused to take her because they closed at 7:00. (I was about to lose it at that point. Why are some people so against helping someone out? Yes, I understand you don't get paid overtime but does that mean you turn us away when we are just trying to do the right thing?) The man told us that two of the animal control trucks went out to pick up an aggressive dog and should be back any minute. We could wait for them if we wanted to.
So we sat and waited. And waited. And waited. We gave up. Who knew how long they would be? We decided to head home. We got about a mile away from animal control when we passed the animal control trucks. We flipped a u-turn and sped back! We once again explained the situation and these guys were MUCH nicer. They said they would hold on to her for 5 days and if no one claimed her they would either put her up for adoption or put her to sleep. I begged them to please call us (even though I knew I would be calling them every single day) before they did anything! They scanned her for a chip and said she did not have one. Then they took her back.
The entire way home I was second guessing our decision. Did we do the right thing? She seemed so scared! What do we do next?
Little did we know, this story was no where near being over. At the end of the story, we would come to realize how incredibly cruel and horrible some people can be and how our lives would never be the same...
Monday, February 8, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Top Secret
I don't know if I have mentioned this before but me and my husband work at the same company. I absolutely LOVE this because I get to see and talk to him much more than most working couples get to see their partner, but it is not so much that I get sick of him. I work in HR and he is an engineer that works a couple of floors above me so I don't run into him around the building.
Our company has a instant messenger so we can send each other quick messages if we need something or we can chat if we are both low on work to do. If there are company events, we can go and everyone knows both of us!
We can also car pool most days which I adore. I love riding into work with him listening to the radio and talking. Or driving home for lunch with him while we listen to Rush Limbaugh (whom I love so no negative comments please!). At the end of the day we workout together because our company has a free gym for employees. All in all, it is a wonderful situation.
JJ works on a lot of projects that are "top secret" so he can't share anything about them with me. He has told me how past girlfriends would get upset because they felt he was keeping things from them. I however, think it is so sexy! My husband works on top secret projects! Hell yeah! The only time that it sucks is when he is really excited about some project and he can't tell me about it. I am so proud of my hubby!
Yeah, sorry for this totally mushy and braggy post. :)
Our company has a instant messenger so we can send each other quick messages if we need something or we can chat if we are both low on work to do. If there are company events, we can go and everyone knows both of us!
We can also car pool most days which I adore. I love riding into work with him listening to the radio and talking. Or driving home for lunch with him while we listen to Rush Limbaugh (whom I love so no negative comments please!). At the end of the day we workout together because our company has a free gym for employees. All in all, it is a wonderful situation.
JJ works on a lot of projects that are "top secret" so he can't share anything about them with me. He has told me how past girlfriends would get upset because they felt he was keeping things from them. I however, think it is so sexy! My husband works on top secret projects! Hell yeah! The only time that it sucks is when he is really excited about some project and he can't tell me about it. I am so proud of my hubby!
Yeah, sorry for this totally mushy and braggy post. :)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Roses and Cooking
Thank you so much to all the people that helped me out on my last post! Your opinions meant so much to me! I kept going back and forth and was really stressing about it for a while. I finally decided that if I want to have my own business, I have to be able to make a decision and stick to it! So I chose... Rebecca's Roses and Rings! I am working on a website and business cards and am so excited! I will keep you guys updated and let you know when the website is up and running!
Besides working on my new business, things at my full-time job have been really busy. The days are flying by but I am exhausted and finding it hard to do anything besides go home and pass out on the couch.
On the days I can muster enough energy to do something besides be lazy, I have started cooking a little more. I have discovered an awesome new cooking show called 5 Ingredient Fix and I am in love! The host, Claire Robinson is a newlywed living in New York and she is just absolutely adorable. All of her recipes only have 5 ingredients which is so great. She went to culinary school in France so some of her dishes are very different and not that easy, but I am having such a blast! Most of my stuff has turned out pretty good and JJ is loving it.
If you guys are looking for some new and delicious recipes that only have 5 ingredients, check her out! I think her shows are on Saturday mornings. I just set my TiVo up to record it so I don't really pay attention to when it is on. (Is TiVo not the best invention ever?? Even the little TiVo character is adorable!)P.S. I am not a sponsor of 5 Ingredient Fix or TiVo. I just love them and had to share!!! I hope you are all having a great week!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Announcement!
I have a somewhat big announcement. No, I am not pregnant. Not yet at least! This is something completely different. It is something I have always wanted to do but have been way to scared. I have a hard time believing in myself, even when other people tell me I would be or am really great at something. But I have finally decided to listen and take a chance.
I am staring my own business. More specifically, I am starting a wedding planning business! Ever since planning my own wedding, I have been in love with everything to do with weddings. I love the flowers, the romance, the colors, the joy, everything! After the wedding, I have felt like something was missing in my life. So I am going to be a wedding planner!
I am going to stay at my current job and try the wedding planning business part time. I have two friends that are engaged and I have offered to help them do whatever they need me to do. Hopefully, they will be happy with me and be my first references!
I need to start a website but first I need to come up with a name for my business. I have a few ideas and need your help! Let me know which one you like the best. Here is what I have come up with so far:
Southern Ceremonies
Southern Charm Ceremonies
Rebecca's Roses and Rings
Hitched without a Hitch
What do you guys think? Do you have a favorite? Is there one I should eliminate? Do you guys have any other ideas for a name that I can use? Help me! 
Sunday, January 3, 2010
2010 Recap
I have seen this recap all over the Internet but I originally got it from Alyndabear.
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Let's see. Of course, I planned an entire wedding by myself, got MARRIED and became a wife! Also, I got a new dog which was not planned and I still haven't told you guys that story. (Bad blogger!)
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't think I really made any resolutions in 2009. I was newly engaged and my focus was on trying to plan the best wedding I could on a limited budget. I have made some new ones for 2010.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I told you guys the story of my friend, Annie. She just had her baby on December 21 and they are doing great. I haven't been over to visit yet, but I am very happy for her.
4. Did anyone close to you die? This year had a lot of death, unfortunately. The one that affected me the most was losing my grandfather. It was unexpected and it was really hard to see my father and grandmother suffer so much. My sister lost a good friend who was 18. My grandmother lost her best friend to cancer. My boss lost her mother. My friend lost her unborn baby when she was 6 months along. We had to put our family dog to sleep. I lost a coworker who was a really wonderful man. We had two employees that lost infants (I handle life insurance so I have to help all these people file for life insurance). This year has been really difficult but it has made me appreciate life so much more!
5. What countries did you visit? The only place I went to this year was St. Martin. We went there in October for our honeymoon. St. Martin is actually owned by the French and the Dutch.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Organizational skills! And patience. I need a lot more patience.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 10, because that was the day I married my best friend!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting married. For a while, I really didn't think I was going to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I am so lucky to have found JJ.
9. What was your biggest failure? I don't really call it a failure, but I really need to be a better wife. I constantly complain about housework, am really stubborn and moody and tend to start fights for no reason. I am determined to work on myself to become a better wife for JJ (and for myself!).
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? For most of 2009, I struggled with health issues that no one could explain. I had nausea, digestive issues, headaches, migraines, dizziness and severe anxiety. I went to multiple doctors and no one could figure out what was wrong with me. At my worst, I couldn't eat and lost about 15 pounds in about 2 weeks (I am already pretty thin so that was a LOT for me). About 2 or 3 months ago things slowly started to change. Now, I feel like myself again and I am so grateful. I really think that my birth control pill was what made me so sick. I have been off of it for about 5 months now and I feel completely normal again. I finally feel like I have my life back!
11. What was the best thing you bought? Hmm...I guess I would have to say my wedding dress. I felt so beautiful on my wedding day and I know I picked the perfect dress for me. I wish I could wear it every day!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I would definitely have to give JJ props for putting up with me this year. I had many, many bad days because I was so depressed about being sick all the time. The stress of planning a wedding did not help either. I really don't know how he did it! Also, my parents were wonderful. They were so supportive of my illness and wedding stress. I don't know what I would do without them.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? A couple of people let me down but I have already blogged about all of that.
14. Where did most of your money go? The wedding and honeymoon!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The wedding of course! Oh, and the honeymoon!
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas and Then by Brad Paisley. I Gotta Feeling was our grand entrance song to our wedding and Then was JJ and I's first dance.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) Happier or Sadder? I guess a little sadder. Last year I had just gotten engaged and couldn't wait to start the wedding planning. This year, I am sad the holidays are over and dreading work tomorrow!
(b) Thinner or Fatter? About the same. I don't really fluctuate in weight that much (with the exception of feeling so sick).
(c) Richer or Poorer? Richer.. but only because I have a joint account with JJ now. Marrying and engineer has it's benefits! It also has it's downsides but that is for another post...
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I’d taken a few more photographs. I really want to learn more about photography and started to do that in 2009 but grew lazy.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Complaining and thinking of the negatives in every situation.
20. How did you spend Christmas in 2009? Spending time with the hubby and grandparents!
21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I have fallen in love with JJ more times than I can count.
22. How many one-night stands? None!
23. What was your favorite TV program? Without a doubt, Glee! I adore that show and am a total Gleek!
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don't really hate anyone. I have some people that let me down and really hurt me but I don't hate them.
25. What was the best book you read? Ugh, there were so many great books that I can't really remember specific titles. I love chick lit and spend hours and lots of money at Barnes and Noble!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't think I really had a musical discovery. In fact, this year I really didn't pay much attention to music at all.
27. What did you want and get? I just wanted to have a beautiful and simple wedding. And that is exactly what I got!
28. What did you want and not get? I really wanted to make more friends and I can't say that I succeeded in that. Hopefully, this year will be more promising in that regard.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn't see that many movies this year, but one that really sticks out is Tombstone. It is a Western and JJ had been begging me to watch it with him. It is his favorite movie and he thought I would like it. I usually don't care for Westerns so I had been putting it off. But Tombstone was AWESOME! Great plot based on true events, HOT cowboys and lot of humor. I definitely recommend it!
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 25 this year (Dec. 28) and had to work since it was a Monday. JJ took me to the Melting Pot yesterday and it was so good!
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting to spend more time with my family. Normally, I go home for Christmas but I was not allowed to take off any extra time this year (we are really busy right now) and we figured since we just had the wedding 2 months ago we would stay home. However, I really missed seeing my parent and sister!
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? I discovered my new favorite store, Anthropologie and have become obsessed. I LOVE that store and try to buy as much as I can from there without going broke!
33. What kept you sane? JJ!
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? No one really.
35. What political issue stirred you the most? Considering I am a conservative, pretty much anything Obama has done lately has stirred me up. The most would have to be the whole healthcare fiasco.
36. Who did you miss? My parents and sister. And my grandfather. I will always miss you Papa!
37. Who was the best new person you met? I met a few really great girls on a girl's night out last month. I really hope to get together with them again soon! Also, I have become friends with an amazing blogger, Michelle, who I completely adore and hope to get together with very soon!
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. That sometimes you need to do something that you don't want to do in order to make someone else happy. Compromise and change can be difficult but necessary.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married. Gee I really love you and we're gonna get married. Going to the chapel of love. (Yeah, I got married in 2009. Did I tell you that? Lol.)
40. What are your resolutions for 2010? I have a ton and will probably post about that soon!
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Let's see. Of course, I planned an entire wedding by myself, got MARRIED and became a wife! Also, I got a new dog which was not planned and I still haven't told you guys that story. (Bad blogger!)
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't think I really made any resolutions in 2009. I was newly engaged and my focus was on trying to plan the best wedding I could on a limited budget. I have made some new ones for 2010.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? I told you guys the story of my friend, Annie. She just had her baby on December 21 and they are doing great. I haven't been over to visit yet, but I am very happy for her.
4. Did anyone close to you die? This year had a lot of death, unfortunately. The one that affected me the most was losing my grandfather. It was unexpected and it was really hard to see my father and grandmother suffer so much. My sister lost a good friend who was 18. My grandmother lost her best friend to cancer. My boss lost her mother. My friend lost her unborn baby when she was 6 months along. We had to put our family dog to sleep. I lost a coworker who was a really wonderful man. We had two employees that lost infants (I handle life insurance so I have to help all these people file for life insurance). This year has been really difficult but it has made me appreciate life so much more!
5. What countries did you visit? The only place I went to this year was St. Martin. We went there in October for our honeymoon. St. Martin is actually owned by the French and the Dutch.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Organizational skills! And patience. I need a lot more patience.
7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? October 10, because that was the day I married my best friend!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting married. For a while, I really didn't think I was going to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I am so lucky to have found JJ.
9. What was your biggest failure? I don't really call it a failure, but I really need to be a better wife. I constantly complain about housework, am really stubborn and moody and tend to start fights for no reason. I am determined to work on myself to become a better wife for JJ (and for myself!).
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? For most of 2009, I struggled with health issues that no one could explain. I had nausea, digestive issues, headaches, migraines, dizziness and severe anxiety. I went to multiple doctors and no one could figure out what was wrong with me. At my worst, I couldn't eat and lost about 15 pounds in about 2 weeks (I am already pretty thin so that was a LOT for me). About 2 or 3 months ago things slowly started to change. Now, I feel like myself again and I am so grateful. I really think that my birth control pill was what made me so sick. I have been off of it for about 5 months now and I feel completely normal again. I finally feel like I have my life back!
11. What was the best thing you bought? Hmm...I guess I would have to say my wedding dress. I felt so beautiful on my wedding day and I know I picked the perfect dress for me. I wish I could wear it every day!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I would definitely have to give JJ props for putting up with me this year. I had many, many bad days because I was so depressed about being sick all the time. The stress of planning a wedding did not help either. I really don't know how he did it! Also, my parents were wonderful. They were so supportive of my illness and wedding stress. I don't know what I would do without them.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? A couple of people let me down but I have already blogged about all of that.
14. Where did most of your money go? The wedding and honeymoon!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The wedding of course! Oh, and the honeymoon!
16. What song will always remind you of 2009? I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas and Then by Brad Paisley. I Gotta Feeling was our grand entrance song to our wedding and Then was JJ and I's first dance.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) Happier or Sadder? I guess a little sadder. Last year I had just gotten engaged and couldn't wait to start the wedding planning. This year, I am sad the holidays are over and dreading work tomorrow!
(b) Thinner or Fatter? About the same. I don't really fluctuate in weight that much (with the exception of feeling so sick).
(c) Richer or Poorer? Richer.. but only because I have a joint account with JJ now. Marrying and engineer has it's benefits! It also has it's downsides but that is for another post...
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I’d taken a few more photographs. I really want to learn more about photography and started to do that in 2009 but grew lazy.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Complaining and thinking of the negatives in every situation.
20. How did you spend Christmas in 2009? Spending time with the hubby and grandparents!
21. Did you fall in love in 2009? I have fallen in love with JJ more times than I can count.
22. How many one-night stands? None!
23. What was your favorite TV program? Without a doubt, Glee! I adore that show and am a total Gleek!
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don't really hate anyone. I have some people that let me down and really hurt me but I don't hate them.
25. What was the best book you read? Ugh, there were so many great books that I can't really remember specific titles. I love chick lit and spend hours and lots of money at Barnes and Noble!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't think I really had a musical discovery. In fact, this year I really didn't pay much attention to music at all.
27. What did you want and get? I just wanted to have a beautiful and simple wedding. And that is exactly what I got!
28. What did you want and not get? I really wanted to make more friends and I can't say that I succeeded in that. Hopefully, this year will be more promising in that regard.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? I didn't see that many movies this year, but one that really sticks out is Tombstone. It is a Western and JJ had been begging me to watch it with him. It is his favorite movie and he thought I would like it. I usually don't care for Westerns so I had been putting it off. But Tombstone was AWESOME! Great plot based on true events, HOT cowboys and lot of humor. I definitely recommend it!
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 25 this year (Dec. 28) and had to work since it was a Monday. JJ took me to the Melting Pot yesterday and it was so good!
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting to spend more time with my family. Normally, I go home for Christmas but I was not allowed to take off any extra time this year (we are really busy right now) and we figured since we just had the wedding 2 months ago we would stay home. However, I really missed seeing my parent and sister!
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? I discovered my new favorite store, Anthropologie and have become obsessed. I LOVE that store and try to buy as much as I can from there without going broke!
33. What kept you sane? JJ!
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? No one really.
35. What political issue stirred you the most? Considering I am a conservative, pretty much anything Obama has done lately has stirred me up. The most would have to be the whole healthcare fiasco.
36. Who did you miss? My parents and sister. And my grandfather. I will always miss you Papa!
37. Who was the best new person you met? I met a few really great girls on a girl's night out last month. I really hope to get together with them again soon! Also, I have become friends with an amazing blogger, Michelle, who I completely adore and hope to get together with very soon!
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. That sometimes you need to do something that you don't want to do in order to make someone else happy. Compromise and change can be difficult but necessary.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married. Gee I really love you and we're gonna get married. Going to the chapel of love. (Yeah, I got married in 2009. Did I tell you that? Lol.)
40. What are your resolutions for 2010? I have a ton and will probably post about that soon!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas Plans
Whew! The last two weeks have been insanely busy! I am so glad that I have a few days off to recover. Our Christmas plans are pretty laid back this year. Usually, we are traveling all over the place but we decided to take it easy this year. Since we got married only about 3 months ago and all of our family was here then, we thought it was ok to stay home. Also, this will be the first year we will actually be together on Christmas! Every other year, we split up to go visit our parents (JJ's family is from Oklahoma and my parents are currently in Chicago). Part of me is really sad that I won't be with my parents on Christmas but another part of me is relieved we don't have to worry about delayed or cancelled flights!
Tomorrow (Christmas Eve) we are going to sleep in (yay!). JJ will probably head to the gym in the morning (which I will not be participating in) and then come back home. I am going to make our big Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve just for the two of us. I am making turkey, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole and stuffing. I will also make a pumpkin pie for dessert. While we eat, we will watch A Christmas Story. Every year my parents and I would watch that on Christmas Eve so I wanted to carry that tradition on. We will also open all of our presents on Christmas Eve. We will either go to the midnight mass or go to mass on Christmas morning.
On Christmas we are going to spend the day with my grandparents that live about 30 minutes from us. We are going to bring Piper and Lexy with us so with my grandparents 5 dogs and my uncle's 2 dogs, there will be more dogs than people at their house! That works out great though because they live on 12 acres of land and their house is a dog's paradise! My grandmother did not want to worry about cooking for everyone so we are all just bringing some snack foods. It should be pretty fun and laid back. After that we will head back home, have some leftovers (I am sure there will be TONS left!) and relax. Maybe we will watch some more Christmas movies and have some hot chocolate.
That is about all we have planned so I am not sure what we will be doing the rest of that weekend. JJ's mom gave us money to buy some bikes so we might go out and buy some this weekend. I am so grateful for a easy going and relaxing holiday weekend! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!
Tomorrow (Christmas Eve) we are going to sleep in (yay!). JJ will probably head to the gym in the morning (which I will not be participating in) and then come back home. I am going to make our big Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve just for the two of us. I am making turkey, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole and stuffing. I will also make a pumpkin pie for dessert. While we eat, we will watch A Christmas Story. Every year my parents and I would watch that on Christmas Eve so I wanted to carry that tradition on. We will also open all of our presents on Christmas Eve. We will either go to the midnight mass or go to mass on Christmas morning.
On Christmas we are going to spend the day with my grandparents that live about 30 minutes from us. We are going to bring Piper and Lexy with us so with my grandparents 5 dogs and my uncle's 2 dogs, there will be more dogs than people at their house! That works out great though because they live on 12 acres of land and their house is a dog's paradise! My grandmother did not want to worry about cooking for everyone so we are all just bringing some snack foods. It should be pretty fun and laid back. After that we will head back home, have some leftovers (I am sure there will be TONS left!) and relax. Maybe we will watch some more Christmas movies and have some hot chocolate.
That is about all we have planned so I am not sure what we will be doing the rest of that weekend. JJ's mom gave us money to buy some bikes so we might go out and buy some this weekend. I am so grateful for a easy going and relaxing holiday weekend! I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Loooong Vent
I need to vent. And since this is my blog, I can do that! Sometimes I really struggle with friendships. I tend to expect a lot from friends. I don't want to be the only person making an effort to call or make plans. If something exciting is happening in my life (like my wedding for example) I expect you to at least try to be happy for me. Maybe that isn't expecting a lot, but I seem to have a really hard time finding friends that don't eventually lose interest in me and stop making any effort to be my friend. The most recent example was my friend, Annie. (All names have been changed to protect the individuals.)
Annie is a coworker. She was hired to take my job after I got promoted to another position. We really hit it off right away. We became so close that people started calling us each others names. We would get teased about how we were always together. We shared everything with each other. After being friends for a little while, Annie told me her and her husband were going to start trying to have a baby. I was so excited for her! So she started trying and every month that she found out she was not pregnant was horrible. She would come to work crying and I would try to console her the best I could. I knew I couldn't completely relate because I had never gone through what she was going through, so I went out and bought a really cute book on trying to concieve. It was funny and light-hearted and I really hoped it would cheer her up.
About the same time, we found out another coworker, Leslie, was also trying to get pregnant. Every month I would cross my fingers that one or both of them would get what they wanted so badly. Finally, Leslie became pregnant. Of course, Annie was happy for her but at the same time she was sad that she had not become pregnant as well. I once again tried to console her and reassure her that her baby would come soon. Sure enough about a month later, she became pregnant too. In fact, their due dates were only 4 weeks apart.
Once they were both pregnant I started to feel left out a little. I was working on planning my wedding and wanted people to be excited with. Part of the fun of having something like a wedding coming up is sharing that excitement with friends and family. However, all Leslie and Annie really wanted to talk about was baby stuff. I really tried my best to be happy for them. I worked really hard to maintain my friendship with Annie (I was not as close to Leslie). I asked her to hang out on a couple different occasions but she always had an excuse about why she couldn't hang out (too tired, busy, etc.) so I backed off for a while. I thought maybe she just needed time with her husband and family to celebrate being pregnant.
Originally, I had asked both Leslie and Annie to be bridesmaids in my wedding. When Leslie became pregnant she backed out and I completely understood. She would have been about 8 months pregnant on my wedding day. When Annie became pregnant I told her she was free to back out as well and I would totally understand. She insisted that she wanted to be in it. I gave her 3 or 4 more chances to back out and she refused. So I figured she was excited to be my bridesmaid and let it go.
As the wedding drew closer and I got more excited I did my best to not spend all of my time talking about weddings. I knew that my friends would get tired of hearing about the plans so I barely spoke of it. When I did though, Annie seemed to be so disinterested. I was a little upset that I was spending so much time talking about baby stuff and was so excited for her, but she really didn't seem to be excited about my wedding. But I didn't want to start anything so I just let it go.
When Leslie was about 6 months pregnant the most horrible thing happened. She lost her baby. Annie was really upset for Leslie and was scared for her own baby. I was there for Annie (and Leslie) the whole time. I held Annie while she cried in the bathroom. I went to the baby's funeral with her. Annie told me how scared she was to go to the funeral because she was pregnant herself and felt guilty. She told me to not leave her side and I never did. We became close again. We both tried to be there for Leslie as much as we could. Annie expressed concern over the fact that she was worred that with her being pregnant Leslie would have an even harder time. She was worried that if her baby was healthy, Leslie would be sad for her own lost child. I consoled her and worked hard to make sure that Annie and Leslie remained friends and worked everything out so things would not be hard or awkward.
Things became better and then Annie found out she was having a girl! I was so happy for her! I went out and bought cupcakes for the entire department to celebrate. I went out and found the cutest little pink headbands and bought them for her. I was just so excited!
As my wedding drew closer I felt like anything I asked Annie to do for the wedding was a pain for her. I asked her to make sure she bought her dress before the cut off date. I had to remind her multiple times before she finally did it. She never told me when the dress came in. When I found out that it had come in and she had tried it on, I asked her how it looked and she said, "fine." That was it! The only other thing I asked her to do was pass out bubbles at the reception before JJ and I were to leave, and she said no. She said she didn't want to be obligated to stay until we left. Ok then!
On the day of the wedding, I arrived at the church to get ready. My sister, sister-in-law, cousin and mother all came in to help me get ready. Annie sat in the church alone, waiting for me to be done. My entire wedding day she barely said anything to me. She looked irritated and miserable the whole day. She tried to leave the reception before I even cut my cake (which was about an hour into the reception) but my mom begged her to stay. She didn't get me anything (a card would have been wonderful) for the wedding. My mom and dad even asked me after the wedding whether something was wrong with her. My mom said she talked to her throughout the ceremony to help her out (it was a Catholic ceremony and Anie is not Catholic). She said Annie never answered her or even acknowledged my mom was speaking to her. My dad said he kept trying to joke with her to get her to smile and look happy and she pretty much blew him off.
At that point I got pissed. How dare you treat my parents that way? Yes, I understand she was pregnant. I know she must have been tired. I knew she was uncomfortable about how big she was (because she told me over and over and over that she was going to look so fat). However, is it really that hard to suck it up for ONE DAY? Can you not pretend to be happy for me for one freaking day? Everyone was going out of their way to make her comfortable and tell her how great she looked and she couldn't muster up one ounce of effort for me.
Since the wedding day things have just gotten worse. I showed her my wedding pictures and all she said was how bad SHE looked. I posted them on facebook and she did not comment on any of them. Her and Leslie are now best friends and leave me out all the time. I see them leaving for lunch together all the time and I am never invited. I hear Annie go into Leslie's office and talk about their weekends and laugh and laugh and then goes back to her office without saying anything to me (my office is right next to Leslie's). I asked her before the wedding if everything was ok between us and she said I was being paranoid and that everything was fine. I asked her after the wedding if she felt ok on the wedding day and she said yes and that she had just been a little tired. The weekend I got my wisdom teeth out, she had a baby shower and I had to miss it. The day of the shower (the day after I got my wisdom teeth out) I texted her to tell her to have fun and I wished I could have been there. She never answered me and never even checked to see how my wisdom tooth surgery went.
I truly feel like I have done everything I can to save this friendship. I know that having your first baby changes your entire life. I know that she is excited. But I also feel like she just doesn't think our friendship is worth anything. Did she ever care about me? It doesn't feel like it. Now every day at work I feel left out and lonely. I don't have many other friends so that makes it even worse. I have decided to put myself out there are start making new friends. I can't keep wallowing in what Annie did to me. I can't start resenting her. I have to move past this. I am determined to grow from this and make new friends that truly care for me. And I feel that writing this all out will give me closer and help me move on. So those of you that actually stuck this through and read this entire long, boring post, thank you!
Edit: This was written a few weeks ago and since then I have really started to move on. I talk to Annie every now and then and we are still friends. Not close friends, but friends. She should be having her baby any day now and I hope everything goes well.
Annie is a coworker. She was hired to take my job after I got promoted to another position. We really hit it off right away. We became so close that people started calling us each others names. We would get teased about how we were always together. We shared everything with each other. After being friends for a little while, Annie told me her and her husband were going to start trying to have a baby. I was so excited for her! So she started trying and every month that she found out she was not pregnant was horrible. She would come to work crying and I would try to console her the best I could. I knew I couldn't completely relate because I had never gone through what she was going through, so I went out and bought a really cute book on trying to concieve. It was funny and light-hearted and I really hoped it would cheer her up.
About the same time, we found out another coworker, Leslie, was also trying to get pregnant. Every month I would cross my fingers that one or both of them would get what they wanted so badly. Finally, Leslie became pregnant. Of course, Annie was happy for her but at the same time she was sad that she had not become pregnant as well. I once again tried to console her and reassure her that her baby would come soon. Sure enough about a month later, she became pregnant too. In fact, their due dates were only 4 weeks apart.
Once they were both pregnant I started to feel left out a little. I was working on planning my wedding and wanted people to be excited with. Part of the fun of having something like a wedding coming up is sharing that excitement with friends and family. However, all Leslie and Annie really wanted to talk about was baby stuff. I really tried my best to be happy for them. I worked really hard to maintain my friendship with Annie (I was not as close to Leslie). I asked her to hang out on a couple different occasions but she always had an excuse about why she couldn't hang out (too tired, busy, etc.) so I backed off for a while. I thought maybe she just needed time with her husband and family to celebrate being pregnant.
Originally, I had asked both Leslie and Annie to be bridesmaids in my wedding. When Leslie became pregnant she backed out and I completely understood. She would have been about 8 months pregnant on my wedding day. When Annie became pregnant I told her she was free to back out as well and I would totally understand. She insisted that she wanted to be in it. I gave her 3 or 4 more chances to back out and she refused. So I figured she was excited to be my bridesmaid and let it go.
As the wedding drew closer and I got more excited I did my best to not spend all of my time talking about weddings. I knew that my friends would get tired of hearing about the plans so I barely spoke of it. When I did though, Annie seemed to be so disinterested. I was a little upset that I was spending so much time talking about baby stuff and was so excited for her, but she really didn't seem to be excited about my wedding. But I didn't want to start anything so I just let it go.
When Leslie was about 6 months pregnant the most horrible thing happened. She lost her baby. Annie was really upset for Leslie and was scared for her own baby. I was there for Annie (and Leslie) the whole time. I held Annie while she cried in the bathroom. I went to the baby's funeral with her. Annie told me how scared she was to go to the funeral because she was pregnant herself and felt guilty. She told me to not leave her side and I never did. We became close again. We both tried to be there for Leslie as much as we could. Annie expressed concern over the fact that she was worred that with her being pregnant Leslie would have an even harder time. She was worried that if her baby was healthy, Leslie would be sad for her own lost child. I consoled her and worked hard to make sure that Annie and Leslie remained friends and worked everything out so things would not be hard or awkward.
Things became better and then Annie found out she was having a girl! I was so happy for her! I went out and bought cupcakes for the entire department to celebrate. I went out and found the cutest little pink headbands and bought them for her. I was just so excited!
As my wedding drew closer I felt like anything I asked Annie to do for the wedding was a pain for her. I asked her to make sure she bought her dress before the cut off date. I had to remind her multiple times before she finally did it. She never told me when the dress came in. When I found out that it had come in and she had tried it on, I asked her how it looked and she said, "fine." That was it! The only other thing I asked her to do was pass out bubbles at the reception before JJ and I were to leave, and she said no. She said she didn't want to be obligated to stay until we left. Ok then!
On the day of the wedding, I arrived at the church to get ready. My sister, sister-in-law, cousin and mother all came in to help me get ready. Annie sat in the church alone, waiting for me to be done. My entire wedding day she barely said anything to me. She looked irritated and miserable the whole day. She tried to leave the reception before I even cut my cake (which was about an hour into the reception) but my mom begged her to stay. She didn't get me anything (a card would have been wonderful) for the wedding. My mom and dad even asked me after the wedding whether something was wrong with her. My mom said she talked to her throughout the ceremony to help her out (it was a Catholic ceremony and Anie is not Catholic). She said Annie never answered her or even acknowledged my mom was speaking to her. My dad said he kept trying to joke with her to get her to smile and look happy and she pretty much blew him off.
At that point I got pissed. How dare you treat my parents that way? Yes, I understand she was pregnant. I know she must have been tired. I knew she was uncomfortable about how big she was (because she told me over and over and over that she was going to look so fat). However, is it really that hard to suck it up for ONE DAY? Can you not pretend to be happy for me for one freaking day? Everyone was going out of their way to make her comfortable and tell her how great she looked and she couldn't muster up one ounce of effort for me.
Since the wedding day things have just gotten worse. I showed her my wedding pictures and all she said was how bad SHE looked. I posted them on facebook and she did not comment on any of them. Her and Leslie are now best friends and leave me out all the time. I see them leaving for lunch together all the time and I am never invited. I hear Annie go into Leslie's office and talk about their weekends and laugh and laugh and then goes back to her office without saying anything to me (my office is right next to Leslie's). I asked her before the wedding if everything was ok between us and she said I was being paranoid and that everything was fine. I asked her after the wedding if she felt ok on the wedding day and she said yes and that she had just been a little tired. The weekend I got my wisdom teeth out, she had a baby shower and I had to miss it. The day of the shower (the day after I got my wisdom teeth out) I texted her to tell her to have fun and I wished I could have been there. She never answered me and never even checked to see how my wisdom tooth surgery went.
I truly feel like I have done everything I can to save this friendship. I know that having your first baby changes your entire life. I know that she is excited. But I also feel like she just doesn't think our friendship is worth anything. Did she ever care about me? It doesn't feel like it. Now every day at work I feel left out and lonely. I don't have many other friends so that makes it even worse. I have decided to put myself out there are start making new friends. I can't keep wallowing in what Annie did to me. I can't start resenting her. I have to move past this. I am determined to grow from this and make new friends that truly care for me. And I feel that writing this all out will give me closer and help me move on. So those of you that actually stuck this through and read this entire long, boring post, thank you!
Edit: This was written a few weeks ago and since then I have really started to move on. I talk to Annie every now and then and we are still friends. Not close friends, but friends. She should be having her baby any day now and I hope everything goes well.
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