Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dreaming Away

I have been having the most bizarre dreams ever lately. I mean they are CRAZY. I had one where I was trying to date a coworker. We went to lunch and I kept trying to hold his hand. Gross.

Then I had one where I had an affair with JJ's boss. WTF?? Things have been so amazing with JJ. The wedding plans are coming along great and we have been having so much fun together. Why am I dreaming about other men???

I had one where JJ and I had to take cover in a ditch because there were like 20 tornados coming after us. We almost got sucked up but made it through. I held on to this root in the ground and JJ held on to my legs. This huge tornado when right over us and JJ was almost sucked up. After it passed we climbed out of the ditch and all of a sudden all the tornados disappeared and it was sunny.

Last night I had a dream that I was going shopping with my dad because he wanted to buy me a table for a wedding gift (a table? huh?). I had to go to the bathroom and when I walked in, it was a square room with toilets but no walls! There were no stalls at all! You just had to use the bathroom right in front of everyone. I had a second dream last night that it was the morning of my wedding and JJ kept talking on the phone to one of his coworkers about his homework (he's getting his masters degree). I got mad because he wouldn't get off the phone and it was our wedding day. I was also really nervous in the dream. I had butterflies since I was getting married that day. I actually woke up this morning nervous!

Another one I had was really long (or at least it seemed really long) and was so real! It was the day of my wedding (I obviously have weddings on my mind!) and I was invited to this ring party. At this party you could try on any wedding ring you wanted and if you liked it better than the ring you had, you could trade. I just went for fun because I ADORE my engagement ring and would never trade it. While I was there I set my ring down on a table and starting trying on other rings. When I went to put my ring back on, someone had stolen it!!! I started crying and totally freaking out. I kept saying "he's not going to marry me now!" and everyone was trying to reassure me. After freaking out for a while, I called JJ to tell him to meet me somewhere so we could talk. When I told him about the ring he got so mad and starting yelling at me for all these weird things. He said, "I can't believe you lost your ring! AND you didn't shut the door when I told you to." I don't know where the shutting the door thing came from but he was pissed. He then told me he was calling off the wedding. The rest of the dream was basically me pacing around crying my eyes out. I woke up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, shaking and crying. It felt so incredibly real. It was awful.

I don't know why I am dreaming so much. Most of the time I just find them funny but sometimes they are awful. For some reason I pretty much always remember my dreams and get to share them the next day. I think JJ is starting to think I'm a little insane. Maybe I am. :)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Women suck

Women can be so petty! This is what happened. My department at work is made up of me, 7 other women and 1 guy. We all get along pretty well and go out to lunch as a department at least once a month. However, like any group, there are some of us that are closer than others. I wouldn't say we have "cliques" but we definately have some people that hang out with each other outside of work and others that they don't. That is totally normal right? You can't be best friends with your entire department.

Ok, the guy that works in my department (lets call him New Dad) is expecting a baby. His wife is due at the end of the month. His friend threw him a baby shower and New Dad invited me and two other women in our department. He did this for many reasons. 1) He knows us the best. 2) it was a couples shower and a couple of people working here do not have a significant other. 3) There was alcohol there and some people we work with do not drink and do not like to be around drinking. 4) He was also not comfortable with the fact that if he invited everyone, everyone would feel inclined to get him a gift. No big deal, right? Wrong.

One of the women (I'm calling her Big B) not invited found out and was really mad. She even said that if she had been invited she would not have gone, but she still was mad that she wasn't invited. She then said that she was going to talk to our boss about it. WHAT??? Who goes to their boss to "tattle" that they weren't invited to a party? We also decided it would be nice to throw New Dad a baby shower at work so the company could be involved as well. We all pitched in to help buy gifts, food, decorations, etc. The only thing Big B did was buy a card and a bow for the present and that was because she was going to be at the store anyway.

We had the baby shower for New Dad today and Big B claimed she was sick so she sat in her office and never came to the party. She couldn't even stop by. The entire department was there and she just sat in her office. What a baby!!! I know that she was not doing that because she didn't feel good. No, she was just pitching a fit about not being invited to his other baby shower. Then after all that, she demands that we all pay her back for the $6 she spent on the card and bow. I am so ready to go home today.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Prozac and Wedding Dresses

I give up. I seriously cannot take this medication anymore. I have never experienced taking a drug that made me this incredibly sick. I called my doctor yesterday and told him that after a week I am still sick everyday and he told me to stop taking it. Thank God! I can handle my usual day to day sickness better than I can handle this stupid medication (I'm sure Prozac is great for some people so no offense). So I did not take the pill this morning. I am really hoping I will start feeling better by tomorrow. I'm completely exhausted from feeling so bad.

In other news, I found a dress on Saturday! I had just started looking and wasn't planning on actually buying a dress yet. I went to this little store about 30 minutes from my house and the first dress I put on was the one. I just knew it. My grandma was there with me and I could tell by her face that she loved it too. I tried on about 10 more dresses just in case and then put the first one back on. It is absolutely perfect. It was WAAAAY over my budget but I just didn't care. I absolutely had to have it. Here is the only picture I could find:

I was not allowed to take a picture in the store so I had to find one online. The one I bought is actually ivory and I think it is much prettier than the white. It from the Pronovias line and it is called Delfin. I just cannot express how beautiful it is. When I put it on and walked to the front of the store to stand on the platform, everyone was watching me. I announced that it was the one and everyone cheered! Someone said, "It looks very vintage" and that is a perfect way to describe it. I wish my mom could have been there to share that moment with me but it just wasn't possible. She is living in Chicago and won't be able to fly down here until April. By that point, it would be cutting it really close to the wedding. The dress takes an average of 5 months to be made and shipped! So I really wanted to go ahead and buy it. I am so excited that I have a dress! I'm completely broke now, but it's totally worth it!!!!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Belated Updates

Last weekend was (mostly) pretty fun. We went to the baby shower on Saturday and it was definately not what I was expecting. Most baby showers that I have been to were mostly women and we just sat around talking about babies and presents and playing games. This one was totally different. It was in a HUGE house that was decorated so beautifully. There is no way I will ever have a house that looks like that. When we walked in my coworker took his present and opened it. Then JJ and I just stood there feeling totally out of place. Everyone else knew each other and everyone was dressed up. I was in jeans and a black sweater. JJ was in jeans and a long sleeve, green, button up shirt. While we were standing there he leaned over and said, "I wish I had at least tucked in my shirt," which made me laugh. There were no games or anything. We ate and just stood around talking. JJ and I don't really drink so that was another thing that seperated us from everyone else. Everyone was really nice but it just was NOT our crowd.

On Sunday we took that test for the pre-marital prep stuff for the church and that was pretty cool. It inspired some conversation on the way home. It will be interesting to see the results. We then headed to the Super Bowl party and we had a blast! It was a great game and we played bingo. I actually won once! There were two boards; a commercial one and a game one. The game one had spaces like "Pitt Rushing TD" or "3rd Down Conversion." The commercial one had stuff like "Cell Phone Commercial" or "Big Boobs." None of the women knew the football terms so the guys had to help us out a little. I totally pigged out on chili and cookies. Overall, it was a pretty good weekend!

On the medical front, I have now started taking Prozac. It is making me really sick too. I can't sleep but then I am so tired all day long. I get really, really sick to my stomach in the morning and can barely get ready for work. I start shaking too. Then all day at work I am quesy and get headaches. I can't concentrate on anything and I am even feeling more depressed. Everyone thinks I should just give it some more time to let my body adjust to the new medication. I might be able to do this for a couple more days and then I just won't be able to take it anymore. It's so frustrating! I have started looking for a therapist as well. Hopefully getting started with therapy will help too.