Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Gee thanks Mom

Yesterday when JJ and I went out to lunch. We were waiting for our food to come when my cell phone started buzzing. It was my mom calling me back. I told her that I did want to come to California with them. I told her that I was not going to go home with JJ but instead going with them. She sounded excited but she said that she felt bad to have ruined me and JJ's plans. I explained to her that she did not ruin anything. She invited me to go if I could manage it and I moved around my plans so that I could go. I also told her that I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my sister.

The sis has been somewhat apprehensive about me having a new boyfriend. I have never had a serious relationship with anyone before. Sure, I did plenty of dating but nothing ever turned into an acutal relationship. I tended to date the typical college guy. All they wanted to do was party and drink and I was never into that. Plus, most of them were absolutely terrified of committment. All I had to do was say the word "boyfriend" and I never heard from them ever again. So I stayed focused on working and studying through college.

Anyway, now that I am dating JJ and things are getting serious very fast, it seems like my sis has some reservations. I think some of it is that she is not happy that some guy has come along and taken her sister away from her. I live across the US from my parents but I try to visit at least twice a year. Starting this Christmas, JJ will most likely be coming with me. This does not please my sister. She wants things to be the way they always have and unfortunately things will change now. I plan on marrying JJ and starting a family and this is really hard for my sister. I completely understand her and am doing everthing I can to make it easier for her.

So I tell my mom that I am excited to spend some quality time with the sis and she says something into the phone that I don't quite make out. I thought that she said "Your sister is very excited about you coming." I asked my mom to repeat what she said because I couldn't hear her over the orders being called out. She said "Your sister is very IFFY about you coming." Ok...what the hell? My mom went on to say that my sister is worried that I will let something bother me or be in bad mood the whole trip.

I know that I am not the happiest, bubbly person in the world. I do let small, stupid things get me down a lot. However, the wonderful JJ has been really working with me on this. I have been working on the being more positive thing for a while now and I am feeling much better. I have a lot more work to do but I do feel much happier. However, I cannot remember a time where I have been in a bad mood on a vacation.

I told my mom I would call her back after lunch so that I could eat. I was really upset through lunch. I was so hurt that my sister thinks of me that way. JJ held my hand and told me that my sister was wrong. I teared up a little and finished lunch.

So I get back to work and call my mom back. My mom told me that she had called my dad and told him about our conversation. She said, "I talked to your dad and he was upset. Sis didn't say that." I was thinking, "Oh yay! My mom must have misunderstood my sister. They DO want me to go!" Then my mom continued. She said, "It's not just your sister that feels that way, we all do. We are all worried about you being in a bad mood for the vacation."


I couldn't understand 1) why she was telling me this and 2) why would they think this. I asked her if was I ever in a bad mood on a vacation and she says that I was in Phoenix. "When?" I ask. She tells me, "When we drove to Sedona you got carsick." Um, yeah? And that was me being in a bad mood? I guess she was worried that since we are going to have to do some driving I might get carsick. I tell her that I can either sit in the front or take motion sickness pills. She replies, "Oh you are NOT sitting in the front on MY vacation." Motion sickness pills it is then.

So basically I am excited about going but I am worried that my parents don't really want me to go. I am determined to be the happiest, positive and upbeat person ever on the vacation. I just wish I could get past my hurt feelings.

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