I got my results today...everything looked normal. I understand that technically this is a good thing. However, I had such hope that I would figure out what was wrong with me so I could move on to managing everything. I now have to go back to the doctor on Thursday to see if he has any other ideas about what could be wrong with me. I feel so hopeless right now. What if they never figure out what is wrong with me? What if I have to spend the rest of my life being dizzy, nauseous and having diahrrea off and on? What about having headaches almost everyday? Or the increasing amount of migraines I am getting? What about the weight I am losing because I never want to eat? Or how my work is suffering because I can't concentrate?
Do I have to deal with this on Christmas and my birthday? Am I going to have to worry about this when I get married? When I have kids? I just don't know what to do.
I have become so depressed. I never go out anymore. After work I go home, shower and lay on the couch all night long. It is affecting my friendships, my job, my relationship with JJ...everything.
I know that I just need some time to vent and let out my frustrations and fear. Soon, I will gather my strength again and keep going. I will get through this. I will get through this. I can do this. I can.