Wednesday, December 15, 2010

2010 in Five Minutes

December 15 – 5 Minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

(Author: Patti Digh)

I set the timer for five minutes and starting thinking about everything I want to remember from this year. It was slow at first, but once I got started, the memories started pouring in my brain.

I want to remember when my mom came to visit me for two weeks in the beginning of the year. Those two weeks were spent laughing, talking and shopping. This trip was also when we found out that my grandmother had the same aneurism that her husband had died of only 8 months earlier.

I love to remember the trip we took to Chicago where Josh and I spent the time going for long walks, playing badminton, riding bikes and resting.

I like to remember how Josh and I went to Oklahoma for the 4th of July. I remember buying shorts because I had none and Oklahoma was supposed to be hot. However, it was cold and rainy the entire trip. My mom called me while I was there and told me that my grandmother had passed away. It was awful but being with Josh’s family offered comfort.

I need to remember going to Kentucky for the last time to say goodbye to my grandmother and a part of my childhood. I will never again visit their house and play Nintendo while eating little powdered doughnuts. I will never sit up late with my grandparents playing poker or go to their favorite gambling spot. I had anger toward some of the people on my dad’s side of the family because they did not treat my grandmother well but I have decided to forgive and move on. I will never forget how amazing my grandparents were and how many wonderful memories I have of them.

I am proud to remember how my sister got into her dream school and how we helped her move into her dorm at Vanderbilt. I told everyone I talked to how she had been accepted and how incredibly smart my baby sister is. We spent an entire day helping her unpack and make her dorm room as comfortable as possible. During the year, I have visited my sister a few times and she spent a weekend with us. I have grown so much closer to her and she is truly one of my best friends.

I smile when I remember my parents and sister coming to visit me and how much fun we all had together. We went to lunch with an old friend and had the perfect southern moment. My dad was able to spend time with some old high school and college friends which hopefully helped him heal after losing his parents.

I get giddy when I remember the moment Josh and I decided to officially start trying for a baby. I was so optimistic and sure it would happen right away. Through the year we have dealt with multiple disappointments from negative tests and frustrations from messed up menstrual cycles. During the year we have also grown together and I feel like I have become a much stronger woman.

I tear up when I remember the moment we saw something was wrong with Lexy and we brought her to the vet. Through all the vet visits and testing we never lost hope that our baby would get better. We made a YouTube video and many, many strangers emailed us to offer advice, prayers or kind words. I was completely amazed at how much kindness we received. I feel lucky for every moment I get to spend with both of my dogs and keep praying that she will continue to improve.

I laugh when I remember how much fun Josh and I had in Asheville, NC for our one year anniversary. We had many hours of quality time celebrating how much we had grown in our first year of marriage.

I choose to remember the moments where anxiety prevented me from fully living my life. I missed out on an opportunity to go to London with Josh because I was too scared to travel. I remember how much regret I felt and how that regret fueled me to commit to go to London in April. I also choose to remember the very recent moment of clarity I had regarding my anxiety and how I am now filled with hope and optimism.