Drunk and Disorderly

Last night after eating dinner, both JJ and I really wanted some ice cream. We had a little in the fridge but not enough for both of us to have a bowl (because we both like to have BIG bowls of ice cream!). We decided to run to the grocery store that was about 3 miles away. I had already showered and was in my pajamas which consisted of running shorts and a t-shirt (and no bra). I slipped on some flip-flops and headed out. I figured with my redneck outfit, I would totally fit in.

We got to the store and we ran in and bought some ice cream (chocolate with brownies! Hell yeah!). When we got to the checkout line, there was one guy in front of us. I could not see what he was buying. At first I thought he was mentally retarded. He was talking funny and very loudly and sort of swaying. I asked JJ what was wrong with him and he said that the guy was drunk. I am really surprised I was not better at figuring that out. I mean, I had my share of good times in college. Not only was the guy drunk but he was buying more beer.

As we got closer I smelt him. BO and beer. Yum. He was talking to the checkout girl. He must have asked her how old she was because when I got close enough to hear she was saying, "No I'm in college." The checkout girl was a cute girl with blonde hair. She wasn't gorgeous by all means, but she was still somewhat pretty. She did have some acne on her chin. This is not something I would ever bring up but it will make sense why I did when I tell you what happened next.

He then said, "Oh I thought you were younger because of all that..." as he pointed to her acne. I could not believe it. Then he says, "You should try Proactive or something." My jaw dropped. The poor girl just mustered up a tiny smile and tried to finish him up so he would leave. It was so wierd because it seemed like he was trying to flirt. Um...just a hint buddy. Telling a girl that she should get Proactive is not a great pick up line. He then turned to JJ and I and started asking us questions. He asked us if we were married and how old we were. He then said, "Man I am 29 and I don't have a girlfriend." He then said a bunch of swear words about being single that I do not want to repeat. I just stood there giving him the dirtiest look I could muster.

The whole time I was trying to figure out what to do. Looking back on it now, I should have gotten someone to call a manager up front and let them take care of it. But the whole thing lasted only a minute or so and I was just so stunned. So we hurried up and bought our ice cream. When we got into our car we pulled up behind him so that we could write down his license plate number. I wanted to call the police and report him but I did not know the local police number. So I tried dialing 411. It just rang and rang so apparently they don't answer on Sunday evenings.

By the time we got a number for the police, we were driving down our road behind him (he happened to be going in the same direction we were). The whole time he was swerving on and off the road and into the other lane (it was a two lane road). I was totally freaking out. I was so sure I was going to watch this jackass kill someone else and I would always feel awful that I didn't do more to keep him off the street.

We finally got the police on the line and JJ explained what happened. The lady said "Thank you sir" and hung up without even asking for his license plate number. So basically they were going to do nothing. Thanks a lot guys.